We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.

88% of women love making their first love making incident with a man seem like an accident.

I need to go to the store and pick up some condoms. But first I need to pick up some women.

I thought he was an angel in black clothes, but in fact, he is the demon in person," ~Emily

Two people making love, she once said, are like one drowned person resuscitating the other.

She said she had to leave in four minutes. I said, Great! Let’s have sex twice.


In the symphony of love, the lost chord is a small organ lying somewhat north of the vagina.

Who’d cum first, you or your clone? To find out, why don’t you go fuck yourself?

I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.

Sex: the thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.

I don't like doing anything that makes you sweat if you don't come at the end of it.

Nothing is wrong. It’s merely what you think is right and wrong that has you confused.

It was like he was a caveman grunting, "You woman. Me man. Let’s make babies together.

Farmers grow on the land. I suppose farmers grow farmers, rather than using sex to reproduce.

If your sexual fantasies were truly of interest to others, they would no longer be fantasies.