If I be waspish, best beware my sting.

Don't let the muggles get you down.

Clever as the Devil and twice as pretty.

Twelve dead?” I said. “Jesus.

If water was beer I'd be a teetotale

My wit is only as stupid as the audience.

The covers of this book are too far apart.

A bunch of bad songs, make an awful whine.

You can't teach an old dogma new tricks.

You know, you're rather amusingly wrong.

Nothing evokes the prurient like puritanism.

Money won is twice as sweet as money earned.

Wit beyond measure is mans greatest treasure

Analysis is soul of thought and ghost of wit.

Quotation is a serviceable substitute for wit.