The wittiest authors raise the very slightest of smiles.

Wit seduces by signaling intelligence without nerdiness.

Caro: "Bite me."Ruby: "I gave that up in kindergarten.

Graham's life is as tense as an overstretched simile.

Never be less interesting than your refrigerator magnets.

Wit, after all, is the unfailing symptom of intelligence.

What good is it if they miss your face but not your mind?

Yeah you can have a word," said Harry savagely. "Good-bye.

Memories make you sentimental, experiences make you smart.

Have you ever noticed how good things go to those who hate?

Tact: the ability to describe others as they see themselves.

In retrospect, I am very nearly as sharp as I pretend to be.

It is the curse of the competent―not to be called upon.

The small amount of foolery wise men have makes a great show.

Everybody who is incapable of learning has taken to teaching.