Make the little things count Teach midgets math

Don t pee in my pool I wont swim in your toilet

The only thing lazy people do fast is get tired

I always lie In fact I m lying to you right now

I m currently fasting to protest hunger strikes

I heard that the idea for the patent was stolen

Do crematoriums give discounts to burn victims?

Do gun manuals have a trouble-shooting section?

When I gave her the ring she gave me the finge

Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition

Fools rush in wherever lottery tickets are sold

Why fart and waste when you can burp and taste?

Lips that touch liquor touch other lips quicke

I used to be addicted to soap But I m clean now

It is easier to get forgiveness than permission