The more people I meet the more I like my dog

Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious

Necessity is the mother of strange bedfellows

When we first met she and I were the same age

I said no to drugs but they just don t listen

I m only a dog because I m faithful and loyal

Father of ten shot dead Mistaken for a rabbit

You can t change a man unless he s in diapers

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at Maths

My inferiority complex is not as good as yours

Farts are just the ghosts of the things we eat

I am not laughing with you I m laughing at you

I spilled spot remover on my dog He s gone now

All men are animals some just make better pets

I m not fat I m just so sexy that it overflows