Off late I m getting better at being worse

Stupidity is an equal opportunity employe

To speed is but human; to get caught a fine

I am not single I m romantically challenged

My mother is a travel agent for guilt trips

All women are beautiful Except the ugly ones

Few women admit their age Few men act theirs

Good girls = Bad Girls that never get caught

I either get what I want or I change my mind

God made pot man made beer Who do you trust?

I am not getting bald I am getting more head

Anyone can be cool but awesome takes practice

Who would have thought Velcro would catch on?

Ideas are like children our own are wonderful

I hate it when people don t hate people I hate