My idea of rebooting is kicking somebody in the butt twice

Help stamp out delete and eradicate superfluous redundancy

No sense being pessimistic it probably wouldn t work anyway

Lead me not into temptation - I can find the way back myself

A smile is like a tight underwear it makes your cheeks go up

If a person is born deaf then what language do they think in?

Sarcasm: The ability to offend idiots without the realizing it

Some people simply should have a backspace key for their mouths

Cocaine is god s way of telling you that you make too much money

Hypocrite - A man who sets good examples when he has an audience

Sometimes the best helping hand you can give is a good firm push

The fridge is a clear example that what matters is what s inside

A bargain is something you don t need at a price you can t resist

Joke - A form of humour enjoyed by some and misunderstood by most

It s not considered lying if you do so when complimenting a woman