The pigs can't stop the fox; I'm too quick,' Takumi said to himself. "I can rhyme while I run; I'm that slick.

She didn't care that people called her a bitch. 'It's just another word for feminist,' she told me with pride.

The satirist shoots to kill while the humorist brings his prey back alive and eventually releases him again for another chance

In her will my grandmother stipulated that she wanted to be buried with all of her favourite possessions Her cat was not happy

Selfishness is a bad habit. That’s why I always rationally think through my decisions to act without regard for others.

I don’t read biographies for moral instruction, or for a history lesson. I want to know what people are saying about me.

I had a dream about you last night. We stopped telling each other about our dreams when we realized we were still inside them.

Through the window yesterday I saw a fool talking to himself, and it made me laugh, until I realized it was a mirrored window.

After 12 years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes He said `No hablo ingles Ronnie Shakes

I never knew how much I missed pickles and pickle juice. It's like, an overwhelming feeling that I can't even explain.

It's rude to stare, but the great thing about staring at a sedated person is that they don't know you're doing it.

Love happens to some people, sometimes. Other times other stuff happens to other people. I’m a person like those people.

A brick could be modified to be a cell phone, for construction workers who miss the easy to find cell phone size of the 1980s.

Jackson asked, "Where'd the water come from in your house?""A pipe." Then he explained to Jackson, "Water travels in pipes.

If I were a mannequin, I'd know people would only want me for my body. But that's OK, because that's how it is now.