Why would I go looking for someone I know wants to kill me?

Living with a conscience is like driving with the brakes on

Living with a conscience is like driving with the brakes on

Everything's amazing right now, and nobody's happy.

If my name were C. Ross, I’d definitely be religious.

Sometimes I think war is God s way of teaching us geography

Love is two souls occupying one bed. Though not a bunk bed.

There are several theories on sex and all of them are lies.

One need to laugh at themself first so as to laugh at others

A liberal is a man who leaves the room when the fight starts

It's not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.

It’s a dog-eat-dog world, and I’m just a kitten.

Jon: Our only thought is to entertain you!Garfield: Feed me.

There are two theories to arguing with a woman Neither works

If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?