Playing polo is like trying to play golf during an earthquake

I gave blood today. It came gushing out of my nose. And anus.

Money can t buy love but it improves your bargaining position

I used to think drinking was bad for me So I gave up thinking

Aside from murder alibis and kinky sex, what good are clones?

The trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a cat

Me and my grandma are getting married. Just not to each other.

The older you get the more important it is not to act your age

A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers.

One sign of good manners is being able to put up with bad ones

...Don't you just hate a phony-looking stiff?" - Aunt Edna

I’ll name my firstborn child Squiblob, after his mother.

Lusty blacksmiths and naughty princesses. Now that's scary

If a word in the dictionary were mispelled, how would we know?

It's not called being gay, it's called being fabulous!