She smiled smugly. “We came to an agreement, the duck and I.

I enjoy hats And when one has filthy hair that is a good accessory

I am the mouth that represents the People’s Republic of Chin

It s always funny until someone gets hurt Then it s just hilarious

Whenever I feel the need to exercise I lie down until it goes away

If I had no sense of humor I would long ago have committed suicide

I am the bathtub of love, but all Agatha ever wanted was a shower.

If you want something that will last forever - take out a mortgage

All right everyone line up alphabetically according to your height

I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'll use it.

Let’s make love in the library—in the romance section.

I want to write a book about shoes that’s full of footnotes.

Of course it hurts, it’s a spanking. How else would it work?

If I had no sense of humor I would long ago have committed suicide

The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind