I would have sex in the backseat of my car, but from back there, how would I be able to hit the brakes? Or steer the vehicle?

gyms would run out of business.. if love-making did more for your fitness than just the moans, groans, huffing and puffing...

Never underestimate the power of a pity fuck, which makes for about ninety percent of women’s collective dating history.

What drives abortion bans and restrictions? The belief that women who have sex for pleasure rather than procreation are sluts.

can't even sleep through the night without you and those sun-dried ginger ale complected limbs crocheted into my thighs...

Never invest so much in anyone romantically that you lose your head. The Buddha of casual sex, I remain detached at all costs.

Huge biceps are an unattractive-uneducated-underpaid man's last attempt to be seen as worthy of dating, or, sleeping with.

If you can't have frank and honest discussions with your partner about sex, you'd better be damn good with your hands.

There’s a saying, isn’t there, that when you’ve had a near death experience, all you want to do is have sex?

After the gratifications of brutish appetites are past, the greatest pleasure then is to get rid of that which entertained it.

Bah, Alzheimer’s. The reason my grandma can’t remember anything is because she’s always thinking about dick.

We made love like two cars that were out of gas. I tried to fill her up, but couldn’t because I myself was empty.


The two coolest names would be Stewart Stuart, and Stuart Stewart. For a woman, it would make normal sex feel like a threesome.

Really, for all the poetry in the world on the subject, when you get right down to it, it's mostly just boom! penis vagina.

You got here in the nick of time," Johnny said, grinning insolently at him. "I was just about to start ripping off her clothes.