If the alarm clock woke you up this morning you didn t get enough sleep
If the alarm clock woke you up this morning you didn t get enough sleep
People can travel faster than sound yes but not nearly so fast as rumo
Sometimes a majority only means that all the fools are on the same side
Obesity doesn t run in family The main problem is nobody runs in family
Obesity doesn t run in family The main problem is nobody runs in family
Women are like elephants I like to look at them but I d hate to own one
Accept that some days you re the pigeon and some days you re the statue
I always give waiters a tip but they never seem to appreciate my advice
Always go to other people s funerals otherwise they won t come to yours
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing
I can t decide whether I should be a good example or a horrible warning
Childhood is like being drunk Everyone remembers what you did except you
My father was a workaholic Everytime someone mentioned work he got drunk
I saw a bank that said `24 Hour Banking` but I don`t have that much time
Everyone makes mistakes The trick is to make them when nobody is looking