Most of us can keep a secret It s the people we tell it to who can t

Running away does not help you with your problems unless you are fat

If a boy is a lad and he has a step father is the boy a step ladder?

It s hard to make a program foolproof because fools are so ingenious

Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die

A person who smiles in the face of adversity probably has a scapegoat

Few things are more expensive than a girl who is free for the evening

I went into the changing room several times but it was still the same

Never tell your resolution beforehand or it s twice as onerous a duty

Friends are important Everyone needs someone else to take advantage of

The best way to overcome temptation is to avoid the tempting situation

If those NASA scientists are so smart why do they all count backwards?

Some people think they are generous because they give away free advice

There is an exception to every rule - and most people think they are it

Conscience is the inner voice that warns us that someone may be looking