My goal is to be able to say Fame and fortune just didn t bring me happiness

Yes even I am dishonest Not in many ways but in some Forty-one I think it is

I sometimes give myself excellent advice. Occasionally, I even listen to it.

Mussolini?” Leo frowned. “Wasn’t he like BFFs with Hitler?

Recession is when a neighbor loses his job Depression is when you lose yours

I just got back from a pleasure trip I took my mother- in-law to the airport

The only time I ever said no to a drink was when I misunderstood the question

Women give us solace but if it were not for women we should never need solace

It's sick and twisted and violent. Other than that it is totally G rated.

He giggled like a puppy being tickled by a kitten wearing a duckling costume.

Yep those are goosebumps. Or a bad case of arm acne. Or as I call it, armcne.

Aside from criminology, I’d say archaeology has the highest body count.

A pair of powerful spectacles has sometimes sufficed to cure a person in love

When a thought takes one s breath away a grammar lesson seems an impertinence

A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.