Too bad. Family members hit you by accident. Psychopathic whores tend to come back for more.

I am a vicious and unrepentant killer who should be locked up. With him, my idiot boyfriend.

When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of he always declares that it is his duty

If you re going to do something tonight that you ll be sorry for tomorrow morning sleep late

I believe in evolution in the sense that a short-tempered man is the successor of a crybaby.

I didn’t sacrifice everything for love, just my mother when love required a caesarian.

They love their hair because they're not smart enough to love something more interesting.

If a man had as many ideas during the day as he does when he has insomnia he d make a fortune

We believe that electricity exists because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it

You'll be fine, just some minor burns and hypothermia, which was kind of hard to explain.

Our problems started in Dallas, when the fire-breathing sheep destroyed the King Tut exhibit.

To the stupidity of men, " Dakota said, raising a glass. "And my brother, who is their king.

I want to have a bunch of kids so I can open a factory and have free labor. Beat that, China!

I want to learn the language of the sun, and burn Agatha’s eyes out with my love poems.

Mardi Gras, baby. Mardi Gras. Time when all manner of weird shit cuts loose and parties down.