I hate reasonable people the activity of their brains sucks up all the blood out of their hearts

I like to schedule dentist appointments for March 32, otherwise known as April Fool’s Day.

I was considered to be a very good boy by my siblings parents and friends But then I got married

Asia is an entertainment, Europe is a dream, America is an imprisonment and Rest is a nightmare.

In a brave and noble way, I want to sacrifice my life one day so that two of my clones can live.

I want to go to all the topless bars in America and try to sell every single one of them a roof.

Every politician has a promising career. Unfortunately, most of them do not keep those promises.

Nothing is more curious than the almost savage hostility that humor excites in those who lack it

Humor prevents one from becoming a tragic figure even though he/she is involved in tragic events

Last time I had sex I was so good I got a standing ovation. Well, actually, I just got the clap.

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake

A brick and a blanket represent two lovers who can never be together. I simply forbid it!


I’m not interested in driving a racecar, but I would love to cruise around in a palindrome.

What was worse, he couldn't tell her how much he thought he maybe might kinda sorta love her.

aren't you, uh... reproducing?"sure, we love reproducing it's one of our favorite things.