hey. I just wanted to make sure you got home," I say. "Katniss, I live three houses away from you," he says.

I will never buy a fish tank, because I don't believe in supporting the funding of aquatic war machines.

I think it s about time we voted for senators with breasts After all we ve been voting for boobs long enough

My love for you is shaped like a left foot. And if you pulled my love out of your ass you’d know that.

I can’t believe I’ve missed this sport. It’s all about fingering holes and caressing balls.

There, at her console, he dialed 594: pleased acknowledgement of husband's superior wisdom in all matters

My life is a code within a code, and I’ll crack both like two eggs and eat my existence like an omelet.

There are very few personal problems that can't be solved with a suitable application of high explosives.

I am the archaeologist of love. I’m digging for the bones of a loved one I shot and buried decades ago.

Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they re looking for ideas

I got an 'A' in Business Marketing in college!- as if that means a goddamn thing in the real world...

You win, you dirty evil butt-munch. I'll never not let you stay over again. Now let's go back to bed.

Don’t just stand there with your Eiffel Tower smile. Tell me you love me, and tell me in French.


Don't cross me Scooby-Doo. I'm not an old man in a mask waiting to be thwarted by you meddling kids.

I am the Love Ventriloquist. And if you say I’m not, I’ll say it so it sounds like you said I am.