Ash is going to kick your ass, Daemon."Daemon's grin went up a notch. "Nah, she likes my ass too much for that.

I'm placing you under arrest for murder, conspiracy to commit murder and, I don't know, possibly littering.

I do not know with what weapons World War III will be fought but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones

I used to work at the unemployment office. I hated it, because when they fired me, I had to show up to work anyway.

In 1947 one rupee equalled one dollar; in 2000 it reached 45 today it is 60 Gosh it s almost keeping up with my age

I'm bad and I'm going to hell, and I don't care. I'd rather be in hell than anywhere where you are.

His eyes widened. Oh, hell, you think I'm going to let him bite me? No way. It's too risky and way too guy.

I ve had bad luck with all my wives The first one left me and the second one didn t The third gave me more children

I know a thing or two about a thing or two. One of those things is not love. Also, one of those things is not love.

I'll drive like my grandma. I'll drive like your grandma.""You wouldn't say that if you knew my gramma.

Don’t believe what you hear about those penguins. A species of lazy waddlers. Their extinction is immanent.

I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age The next day she locked me in the cella

The manlier you are, the harder it is to understand what a woman wants: there is not a hint of female brain in you.

Moral codes are like the ocean. Some people live by them, while others, such as myself, would rather live by a lake.

Is he following? Can you have a flaming gay moment or something and check?""Why do I have to be the flaming gay one?