My smile wavers as I revert to my natural state of being: nervous and weird.

I've been single so long that if I hug a brother, he'll get pregnant!

I must be very complex, judging by the number of days determined to define me.

If Yo Mama and Yo Daddy got a divorce, they'd still be brother and sister.

It is the end of the world. Surely you could be allowed a few carnal thoughts.

Never put off till tomorrow what can be done the day after tomorrow just as well

Miguel: Merle? What kind of hick name is that? I wouldn't name my dog Merle.

I'm beginning to think my name has been changed to Damn it or Asshole" Styxx

Martin was dafter than a syphilitic polecat - where do I get these metaphors from?

You're (I'm) not weird, you're (I'm) just not preticularily normal.

Is that a rule? Do you have a rule that you can’t kiss people in the morning?

Come Hell or High Water" usually depends on the kind of plug you use in the bath tu

When life gives you lemons, you exchange them at the store for something more edible.

it's not my fault my parents own the world's largest collection of black santas

Lettuce mustard our strength, celery-brate and have bun while I scream, relish the day!