Oh, sod off, I'm calling the Police." Another series of banging on the door. "Open up, Police." That was quick.

Yo Mama’s so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.

Does anyone else day dream about what it would be like if specific age groups just dropped dead all across the world?

Jesse is a good guy, although I don't understand the infatuation with the spandex he is always running around in.

Lying on the ceiling. Refusing to go to school. Not opening up to me. Climbing water towers. "No, she's all right.

I didn't actually know what regret tasted like—but I imagined if it did have a flavor, it would be lutefisk.

Entah kenapa, masa lalu selalu membuat gue tertawa setiap kali gue mengingatnya. (Catatan Mantan Playboy, halaman 137)

People need to make sure they have a good humor spark plug inside them that can be ignited at any moment when required.

Instead I sounded like a little girl on her first day of kindergarten. My name is Bee, and I like coloring and horsies.

I've purged myself of worldly goods; half my stuff is either being sold or going to charity. I need to go shopping.

For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.

And they all lived happily ever after (barring death, divorce, arrest for tax fraud, that incident with the pool boy...)

Leonard had let them go alone with the young boy who Ali was now convinced, was a couple falafel's short of a picnic

Dear Fly, I love you. If you are a mouse I am cheese. If you are a cat I am a mouse. You are a fly, so I want to be shit.

I Don't care which president is sucking your dick at the moment, I will not be a party to the killing of innocent men!