Superman once challenged Chuck Norris to a fight, the loser had to wear his underwear on the outside.

Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.

You keep the title of 'president' even if you served only one term. The same goes for rapists.

Ish #19 "If your diet soda has zero calories, zero sugar and zero fat, what the hell are you drinking?

Yo Mama’s so ugly, her Mama had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her.

So if you are what you eat and you are as young as you feel, then I am a pizza, right out of the oven.

I think it would be neat to meet a man who slept with one eye open, especially if that man was a Cyclops.

I think I'm supposed to "take a sad song and make it better," but that's beyond my musical ability

Be the kind of woman who, when your feet hit the floor each morning, the devil says "Oh, no! She's up.

When they figure out how to bottle up orgasms and sell them as a food additive, I'll be first in line.

I´ve been Obeahed by an Obeahman? Is this like how the smurfs say they smurfing smurfed all the time?

What's purple mean?"Adrian put his hand on the door. "Gotta go, Sage. Dont want to keep Dorothy waiting

Do animals understand the concept of dreams or do they think they enter another dimension when they get tired?

Don't you wish we all lived in black light.... for one thing, it would mean an end to toothpaste as we know it

The wider you spread your fingers apart while clapping is equal to the amount of retarded you look while clapping.