Never date a woman whose father calls her Princess Chances are she believes it

If you are willing to admit you are wrong when you are wrong you are all right

I m a killer I kill people for money but you are my friend I KILL YOU FOR FREE

I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile I tried - but they wanted cash

I never knew my father was an alcoholic until he came home sober that one night

Drive carefully Remember it s not only a car that can be recalled by it s make

Sign in a Bar: Those of you who are drinking to forget please do pay in advance

A socialist is someone who has nothing and wants to share it with everyone else

Women drivers are like stars in the sky You can see them but they can t see you

By simple logic of English those who eat humans should be known as humanitarian

If the police arrest a mime do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

Never speak ill of yourself; your friends will always say enough on that subject

Terrorism is the tactic of demanding the impossible and demanding it at gunpoint

The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest that he s too old for it

Of course I can keep secrets It s the people I tell them to that can t keep them