He who sneezes without tissue takes matter into his own hands

When I m not in my right mind my left mind gets pretty crowded

War does not determine who is right War determines who is left

People will believe most anything that is whispered to anothe

When your mum is mad at your dad don t let her brush your hai

The best way to forget all your troubles is to wear tight shoes

No one is funnier than people who take themselves too seriously

If an object is lying 5 feet away it s likely to become useless

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else

Most people wish to serve God - but only in an advisory capacity

Anything is possible if you don t know what you re talking about

In some cases non-violence requires more militancy than violence

Summer must be over My neighbour just returned my lawn furniture

I don t like spreading rumors but what else can you do with them?

If you think there is good in everybody you haven t met everybody