One taxi driver in Lahore to another Did you hear that the Pakistan government bought a thousand septic tanks? The other driver replied Yes and as soon as they learn to drive them they`re going to invade India

A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver s license First of course he had to take an eye sight test The optician showed him a card with the letters: C Z W I X N O S T A C Z Can you read this? the optician asked Read it? the Polish guy replied I know the guy

A Gujju having no child no money no home a blind mother prays to God God happy with his prays grants him only one wish Gujju: I want my mother to see my wife putting Diamond bangles on my Child s hands in our new mansion God: Damn; I still have a lot to learn from these Gujjus

This happened to an American visitor in Madras In his hotel room he picked up the telephone one night and asked for a 7-up The switchboard operator answered in his best English 7-up? Yes sir The cold drink never arrived but the next morning the tourist was woken up punctually at seven o clock

Jewish Mothers don t differ from any other in the world when it comes to bragging about their sons One Mother trying to out-do another when it came to opportunities available to their just graduated-from-college sons said My Irvin has had so many fine interviews his resume is now in its fifth printing

A visitor from Holland was chatting with his American friend and was jokingly explaining about the red white and blue in the Netherlands flag Our flag symbolizes our taxes he said We get red when we talk about them white when we get our tax bill and blue after we pay them The same with us the American said only we see stars too

A Texas rancher visiting a South Dakota farmer friend asked him to show him his farm After seeing the 1 000 acre spread the Texan bragged that down home he could get into his car drive all day and by evening would not have gotten to the distant point of his ranch The South Dakotan simply replied You know I had a car like that once

A moment or two after a highway accident an old Jewish man came up to a woman lying by the roadside Have the police come yet? the man asked No the woman moaned Has the ambulance been here yet? No the injured woman repeated How about the insurance company? No Listen the Jewish man said bending down Do you mind if I lay down next to you?

An Irish man walks into a bar and there`s a 7 foot tall Bar Tender there The Bar Tender punches the Irish Man on the face The Irish man falls on the floor He finally get up and says to the Bar Tender Listen Mate was that a joke or were you serious? The bar tender replies I was serious You better have been serious cos I don`t like jokes like that

You must have all heard of ABCDs ABCDEFs and ABCDEFGs but have you heard an expansion covering the complete alphabet? Ok here s the lighter side: An ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ is American Born Confused Desi Emigrated From Gujarat Housed In Jersey Keeping Lotsa Motels Named Omkarnath Patel Quickly Reached Success Through Underhanded Vicious Ways Xenophobic Yet Zestful

An Afghan upon landing at Islamabad Airport introduced himself to a Pakistan Immigration Officer as an Ex-Minister of Ports Shipping of Afghanistan The Pakistani Officer was surprised and asked But there is no sea in Afghanistan How can you be the ex-Minister of Ports Shipping? The Afghan replied You crazy bugger don t you have a Minister for Law Justice in Pakistan ?

I was standing in a small queue There was a laday of Japanese descent in front of me she was there to exchange Yen for Dollars She was a little irritated She asked the teller Why it change? Yesterday I get two hunad dolla fo yen Today I only get hunad ninty? Why it change? The teller shrugged his shoulders and said Fluctuations The Japanese lady said Fluc you white people too

When God created the world he could not help boasting to Brahma of the special favours he had bestowed on India I gave it the highest mountains and the broadest rivers in the world; I gave it coal gold and diamond mines I gave it the best of everything Was it fair to give one country so much wealth ? asked Brahma You should see the kind of people I put in India They will waste everything I gave them

A firm of solicitors in Mumbai go under the name of Patel Patel Patel and Patel The office phone rang and the voice at the other end asked May I speak to Mr Patel? Mr Patel is not in his seat In that case can I speak to the other Mr Patel? The other Mr Patel is out of station Then put me on to the third Mr Patel Sorry the third Mr Patel has gone out for lunch Okay then I will speak to the last Mr Patel Patel speaking

Smith and Jones were sitting in a Chinese restaurant Smith asked Jones are there any Jews in China? I don t know Smith replied Why don t we ask the waiter? When the waiter came by Jones asked him Are there any Chinese Jews? Waiter: No Chinese Jews Sir Are you really sure? Jones asked again I cannot believe there are no Chinese Jews The waiter replied exasperated We have Orange Jews Prune Jews Tomato Jews and Grape Jews but we have no Chinese Jews