Ek ladka shaadi ke liye ek ladki ko dekhne gaya Ladke ne socha ki kyun na ladki ko impress kiya jaaye aur English mein baat karne ki sochi Ladka bola: Suniye aapko English chalti hai na? Ladki sharmate hue dheere se boli: Ji bilkul chalti hai Agar SODA ho saath mein ho tab toh DESI bhi chalti hai

Teacher: Tum bade hokar kya karoge? Student: Facebooking Karunga Teacher: Nahi mera matlab hai kya banoge? Student: Facebook pages ka Admin banunga Teacher: Ohoo I mean bade hokar kya hasil karoge? Student: Facebook Admin Rights Teacher: IDIOT Mera matlab bade ho kar mummy papa ke liye kya karoge? Student: Facebook par Page bnaunga I MOM DAD Teacher: Stupid tumhare papa tumse kya chahte hain ? Student: Mere Facebook ka Pasword Teacher: Oh God tumari zindagi ka kya maksad hai? Student: Facebook but never Face your Book

A girl come in class wearing new sandals A boy comments: Chappal achhi hai Girl gusse mein: Nikalun kya? Then all the boys: Tumhaari dress toh aur bhi achchi hai

A boy on a date in a BMW CAR Boy Maine tumse ek baat chupai hai Girl Kya? Boy I m already married Girl Tumne toh dara diya tha maim samjhi ki yeh red colour ki BMW tumhari nahin hai

A kanjoos boy fell in LOVE with a kanjoos Girl Girl: Jab Dad so jayenge to main gali mein ek SIKKA phenk dungi tum turrant andar aa jana Lekin ladka sikka phenne ke ek ghante baad aaya aur kuch pareshaan bhi tha Girl: Itni der kyo laga di? Boy: Wo main sikka DHOOND raha tha Girl: Pagal wo tho DHAAGA BAANDH ke phenka tha tabhi waapas kheench liya tha

Ek teacher kaha ki AGAR MAI BILL GATES HOTA par essay likho Saare students likhne lag gaye Teacher ne dekha ki sab likh rahe hain but apna Pappu sirf smile kar raha tha yahan vahan dekh rajah tha lekin likh nahin raha tha Teacher: Pappu tum kyu nai likh rahey? Pappu: Madam ji main apni seceretry ka intzaar kar raha hun This is attitude

Santa: Doctor ke paas gaya aur bola ghar jaane ki kitne fees lete hain aap?? Doctor: 300 rupees Santa: Theek hai doctor ji chaliye phir Doctor ne apna bag liya bike nikali aur Santa ko le kar Santa ke ghar pahunch gaye Doctor bola: Mareez kahan hai ?? Santa: Yahan koi mareez nahi hai doctor ji darasal baat yeh hai ki taxi wala 500 maang raha tha aur aapne 300 mein le aaye

Ek din Santa office jaane ke liye bus mein chada toh conductor ne haste hua pucha Sir kal raat theek-thaak ghar pahunch gaye the aap? Kahin gire toh nahin ya ghar ka raasta toh nahin bhule ghar ka? Santa gusse mein Kyun? Kal raat ko mujhe kya hua tha? Conductor Kal raat aap nashe mein tunn the Santa Tum kaise kah sakte ho ki main nashe mein tha hamne toh aapas mein baat bhi nahin ki koi? Conductor Sir ji vo aisa hai ki kal raat jab aap bus mein baithe hue the tab ek madam bus mein chadhi aur aapne uthkar unhe seat offer ki thi Santa hairaani se Toh kya kisi lady ko seat offer karna gunah hai? Conductor haste hue Gunah toh nahin hai sir per us time bus mein sirf 4-6 hi passenger the

A man who is a manager in 5 star hotel calls his wife Husband: Aaj khaane mein kya pakaya hai? Wife: Steamed fine long grain white rice hand-picked in the emerald green lap of the Vindhyas accompanied by a golden lentil soup that was gently simmered over the smouldering kisses of angels and served with dollops of fragrant clarified butter Husband: WOW SOUNDS YUMMY 1 Naam kya hai dish ka??? Wife: Daal-Chawal Husband: Daal-Chawal?? Toh itna ghumaya kyun? Wife: Maine bhi vaise hi kaha jaise tum 5 star wale public ko kehte ho

Ghalib ne girlfriend ko date par bulaya wo late aayi Girl: Am I late ? Ghalib: Arz hai Falak pe chand sitaron ko neend aa rahi hai Falak pe chand sitaron ko neend aa rahi hai Dusri ka time ho gaya hai tu ab aa rahi hai

Pappu to his Mom: Mumma Main kaise paida hua tha? Mom: Maine ek box me mitti daal kar rakh di thi kuch din baad uss mein se tum mile mujhe Pappu did the same thing Jab Kuch din baad usne jaa kar box khola aur dekha ki usmein ek Cockroach tha Pappu (Gussey se): Dil to karta hai ki tujhe goli maar dun Par kya karu ? Aaulad hai tu meri

I found a Leaflet in newspaper this morning which read: ARE YOU AN ALCOHOLIC? CALL NOW WE CAN HELP My wife insisted I make a call I Called up It was a liquor shop offer: Buy 3 Get 1 Free Mere toh khushi ke aansu nikal aaye

Sister to her brother: What are you giving to Grandmaa on her birthday? Brother: A Football Sister: Is age mein? Aur vaise bhi Grandmaa kahan khelti hai? Brother: Mere birthday per jo unhone Bhagavad Gita diya tha uska kya ?

Teacher: Kaun si chidiya sabse fast urti hai ?? Student: Mam Haathi Teacher: Nalayak Tera baap kya karta hai ?? Student: Ji woh Al Qaida mein aatankwadi ka kaam karte hai Teacher: Shabash beta Likho bacchon answer likho HAATHI

Exam ka examiner bahut strict tha aur paper bahut tough tha Examiner hall mein lagataar chakkar laga raha tha aur kisi ko cheating nahin karne de raha tha Pappu ne ek chit mei kuch likha aur vo chit us examiner ko de di Examiner ne jaise hi vo chit khol ke padi vo chup chaap apni chair pe jaa ke baith gaya Exam khatam hone ke baad sab students Pappu ke paas gaye aur pucha: Yaar tune us chit mein kya likha tha? Pappu: Sir peechhe se aapki pant phati hui hai