Ek ladka shaadi ke liye ek ladki ko dekhne gaya Ladke ne socha ki kyun na ladki ko impress kiya jaaye aur English mein baat karne ki sochi Ladka bola: Suniye aapko English chalti hai na? Ladki sharmate hue dheere se boli: Ji bilkul chalti hai Agar SODA ho saath mein ho tab toh DESI bhi chalti hai

A girl come in class wearing new sandals A boy comments: Chappal achhi hai Girl gusse mein: Nikalun kya? Then all the boys: Tumhaari dress toh aur bhi achchi hai

Teacher: Tum bade hokar kya karoge? Student: Facebooking Karunga Teacher: Nahi mera matlab hai kya banoge? Student: Facebook pages ka Admin banunga Teacher: Ohoo I mean bade hokar kya hasil karoge? Student: Facebook Admin Rights Teacher: IDIOT Mera matlab bade ho kar mummy papa ke liye kya karoge? Student: Facebook par Page bnaunga I MOM DAD Teacher: Stupid tumhare papa tumse kya chahte hain ? Student: Mere Facebook ka Pasword Teacher: Oh God tumari zindagi ka kya maksad hai? Student: Facebook but never Face your Book

A kanjoos boy fell in LOVE with a kanjoos Girl Girl: Jab Dad so jayenge to main gali mein ek SIKKA phenk dungi tum turrant andar aa jana Lekin ladka sikka phenne ke ek ghante baad aaya aur kuch pareshaan bhi tha Girl: Itni der kyo laga di? Boy: Wo main sikka DHOOND raha tha Girl: Pagal wo tho DHAAGA BAANDH ke phenka tha tabhi waapas kheench liya tha

Ghalib ne girlfriend ko date par bulaya wo late aayi Girl: Am I late ? Ghalib: Arz hai Falak pe chand sitaron ko neend aa rahi hai Falak pe chand sitaron ko neend aa rahi hai Dusri ka time ho gaya hai tu ab aa rahi hai

Husband: Dubai ja raha hun Wife: Mere liye jewellery lana Husband: Paris ja raha hun Wife: Mere liye cosmetics lana Husband: London ja raha hun Wife: Perfumes leke aana Husband: Narak mein ja raha hun Wife: Bhagwan ka diya sub kuch hai bas tum apna khyal rakhna

A boy on a date in a BMW CAR Boy Maine tumse ek baat chupai hai Girl Kya? Boy I m already married Girl Tumne toh dara diya tha maim samjhi ki yeh red colour ki BMW tumhari nahin hai

Ek teacher kaha ki AGAR MAI BILL GATES HOTA par essay likho Saare students likhne lag gaye Teacher ne dekha ki sab likh rahe hain but apna Pappu sirf smile kar raha tha yahan vahan dekh rajah tha lekin likh nahin raha tha Teacher: Pappu tum kyu nai likh rahey? Pappu: Madam ji main apni seceretry ka intzaar kar raha hun This is attitude

Ladka Handsome hona chahiye Smart to Phone bhi hote hain Phone to iPhone hona chahiye S1 S2 S3 to Train ke Dibbe bhi hote hain Insaan ka dil Bada hona chahiye Chhota to Bheem bhi hai Aadmi ko Samjhdar hona chahiye Sensitive to Toothpaste bhi hota hai Teacher jyada Number dene wala hona chahiye Andaa to Murgi bhi deti hai Yuva Rashtrawadi Hone chahiye Cool to Navratna Oil bhi hai Rashtrapati Kalaam Hona Chahiye Mukherjee to Rani bhi hai v Bathroom mein Hair Dryer Hona chahiye Towel to Sreesanth ke paas bhi hai Ladki mein Akal honi chahiye Surat to Gujrat mein bhi hai Mobile General mode par hona chahiye Silent to Manmohan Singh bhi hain Seb meetha hona chahiye Lal to Advani bhi hain Ladka Dravid jaisa hone chahiye Rahul to Gandhi bhi hai Ghumna to Hill Station par chahiye Goa to Pan masala bhi hai Reply dhang ka hona chahiye Hmmmmmmm to bhains bhi kar leti hai

Teacher: Kaun si chidiya sabse fast urti hai ?? Student: Mam Haathi Teacher: Nalayak Tera baap kya karta hai ?? Student: Ji woh Al Qaida mein aatankwadi ka kaam karte hai Teacher: Shabash beta Likho bacchon answer likho HAATHI

Santa: Doctor ke paas gaya aur bola ghar jaane ki kitne fees lete hain aap?? Doctor: 300 rupees Santa: Theek hai doctor ji chaliye phir Doctor ne apna bag liya bike nikali aur Santa ko le kar Santa ke ghar pahunch gaye Doctor bola: Mareez kahan hai ?? Santa: Yahan koi mareez nahi hai doctor ji darasal baat yeh hai ki taxi wala 500 maang raha tha aur aapne 300 mein le aaye

A man who is a manager in 5 star hotel calls his wife Husband: Aaj khaane mein kya pakaya hai? Wife: Steamed fine long grain white rice hand-picked in the emerald green lap of the Vindhyas accompanied by a golden lentil soup that was gently simmered over the smouldering kisses of angels and served with dollops of fragrant clarified butter Husband: WOW SOUNDS YUMMY 1 Naam kya hai dish ka??? Wife: Daal-Chawal Husband: Daal-Chawal?? Toh itna ghumaya kyun? Wife: Maine bhi vaise hi kaha jaise tum 5 star wale public ko kehte ho

Ek din Santa office jaane ke liye bus mein chada toh conductor ne haste hua pucha Sir kal raat theek-thaak ghar pahunch gaye the aap? Kahin gire toh nahin ya ghar ka raasta toh nahin bhule ghar ka? Santa gusse mein Kyun? Kal raat ko mujhe kya hua tha? Conductor Kal raat aap nashe mein tunn the Santa Tum kaise kah sakte ho ki main nashe mein tha hamne toh aapas mein baat bhi nahin ki koi? Conductor Sir ji vo aisa hai ki kal raat jab aap bus mein baithe hue the tab ek madam bus mein chadhi aur aapne uthkar unhe seat offer ki thi Santa hairaani se Toh kya kisi lady ko seat offer karna gunah hai? Conductor haste hue Gunah toh nahin hai sir per us time bus mein sirf 4-6 hi passenger the

Pappu to his Mom: Mumma Main kaise paida hua tha? Mom: Maine ek box me mitti daal kar rakh di thi kuch din baad uss mein se tum mile mujhe Pappu did the same thing Jab Kuch din baad usne jaa kar box khola aur dekha ki usmein ek Cockroach tha Pappu (Gussey se): Dil to karta hai ki tujhe goli maar dun Par kya karu ? Aaulad hai tu meri

Husban and wife mein jhagda ho raha tha Biwi: Kaash main apni maa ki baat maan leti aur tum se shaadi na karti Pati: Kya matlab tumhari maa ne tumhe mujh se shaadi karne ke liye mana kiya tha ? Biwi: Aur nahi toh kya Pati: Hey Bhagwaan main aaj tak us nek aurat ko kitna bura samjhta raha jisne mujhe bachana chaha