In Jail Sanjay Dutt: Jailer Sahab Mujhe Phir Se Baapu Dikh Rela Hai Jailer: Kidhar? Sanjay Dutt: Wo Udhar Dhoti Mein Jailer: Abe Asaram Baapu Hai Wo Akbar and one Gujju were best friends The Gujju went to a Masjid for the 1st time with Akbar Akbar enters the Masjid and says: Allah hu Akbar Gujjubhai Thodi Der Sochne Ke Baad: Allah Hu Jignesss Patel Biwi: Wo Saamne Sharabi Dekh Rahe Ho ? Pati: Husband: Haan Kyun Tum Jaanti Ho Us Ko? Biwi: Haan 10 Saal Pehle Maine Use Shaadi ke Liye Inkaar Kiya Tha Aur Woh Aaj Tak Pee Raha Hai PATI: Baap Re Itna Lamba celebration A couple went to an Art Gallery Ther was a picture of a girl covered only by Leaves Husband was watching Wife: Ghar abhi chaloge Ya Hawa Aane tak rukoge A man went to the marriage hall to reserve wedding date Office was closed and he read the following Notice outside the office: Office closed between 1 pm and 3 pm you may use this time to think again When a woman loves you you are a husband When many women love you you are an actor When hundreds of women love you you are an idol When thousands of women love you you are a leader But When all the women in the city love you then you are a Best Paanipuri wala

Ek Student Ko Apni Life Me Khud Par Sabse Zyada Proud Kab Hota Hai ? Jab Usko Exam Mein Kuch Na Aata Ho Aur Pichhe Se Teacher Aake Kahe: Copy Chhupa Lo Pichhe Wala Dekh Raha Hai Kasam Se Seena Kushi Se Chauda Ho Jaata Hai A School Inspection Inspector: Ek bade Ccientist Ka Naam Batao? Student: Alia Bhatt Inspector: Aap Ye Sikhate Ho School Mein? Teacher: Ye Totla Hai Sir Ye Bol Raha Hai ARYABHATT Pappu Kayi Dino Se School Nahi Ja Raha Tha Toh Kaafi Dino Ke Baad School Jane Per Teacher Pappu Se Puchti Hai: Itne Din Se Kahaan The? Pappu: Bird Flu Ho Gaya Tha Teacher: Par Yeh Toh Birds Mein Hota Hai Pappu (Gusse Me): Insaan Hi Kaha Rehne Diya Apne Roj To Murga Bana Dete Ho Top Replies by Teachers if they don t know the answers: 1) I think the question is wrong 2) I ll tell you tomorrow 3) Don t ask foolish questions 4) You ll study this in the next semester the most famous one 5) Nice question raise your hands who know the answer of this question ? If no one raises Then it is an assignment for you Teacher: Pappu What s 5 - 5? Pappu remains quiet Teacher tries again: Agar Tere Paas 5 Bhaturey Hain Aur Maan Lo Ki Vo 5 Bhature Tum Se Le Loon Toh Tumhaare Paas Kya Bachega? Pappu: Chholle

Janata Maaf Nahin Karegi Bankers Version: Totally related to your daily BELOVED customers ATM Card Hote Hue Bhi Branch Mein Gardi Karne Walon Tumhe Janata Maaf Nahi Karegi 100 Rs Ke Liye 10 Lacs Ka Attitude Dikhane Walon Tumhe Janata Maaf Nahi Karegi Entry Karne Pure Mohalle Ke Passbook Lane Walon Tumhe Janata Maaf Nahi Karegi 50 Lacs Balance Hote Hue Bhi 100 Rs Service Charges Deduction Pe Rone Walon Tumhe Janata Maaf Nahi Karegi Ek Branch Mein Cheque Deposit Karke Dusre Branch Mein Enquiry Karne Walon Tumhe Janata Maaf Nahi Karegi Without 15G/15H Bharke TDS Deduction Pe Rone Walon Tumhe Janata Maaf Nahi Karegi Cheque/Withdrawal Slip Pe Khud Ke Galat Sign Karne Walon Tumhe Janata Maaf Nahi Karegi RTGS/NEFT Par Khud Galat Information Dekar Bank Staff Par Chillane Walon Tumhe Janata Maaf Nahi Karegi Without Reason Counter Pe Ainvey Hi Khade Rehne Walon Tumhe Janata Maaf Nahi Karegi Branch Mein Naye Staff Ki History-Geography Puchne Walon Tumhe Janata Maaf Nahi Karegi Just Passbook Entry Ke Liye Over Hyper Hone Walon Tumhe Janata Maaf Nahi Karegi Counter Time Khatam Hone Par Bhi Bank Chalu Hai Kya? Puchne Walon Tumhe Janata Maaf Nahi Karegi And This One is Best: Loan Lekar Usse NPA Banane Walon Tumhe Janata Maaf Nahi Karegi

Gabbar Singh was a MANAGEMENT GURU as is reflected in some of the timeless management lessons he delivered thru the movie Sholay 1 Jo Darr Gaya Samjho Mar Gaya - Courage and enterprise are important factors for laying the successful foundation of a growth oriented business 2 Kitne Admi The ? - It s important to know the competition and its size He understood that even a small team can make a difference 3 Arey O Sambha Kitna Inaam Rakhe Hai Sarkar Hum Par ? - Promoting one s own brand is very important and to be reiterated always 4 6 Goli Aur Aadmi 3 - Create an illusion where his insurbodinates had a chance of survival but kills them in the next scene Moral - Perform or perish 5 Le Ab Goli Kha - Sometimes in the interest of the organisation you have to take hard and unpopular decisions So sometimes a leader has to fire some employees 6 Yeh Ramgarh Waale Apni Betiyon Ko Kaunsi Chakki Ka Aata Khilate Hai Re - Market research is important to understand value propositions 7 Yeh Haath Mujhey Dedey Thakur - Identify elements of threats in the market and take measures to minimise them 8 Holi Kab Hai Kab Hai Holi ? - Conduct advance mapping of key events within the industry and devise penetration strategy to have a competitive edge over your rivals

Gabbar was more than just a ruthless Dacoit he was also a management and marketing genius Just have a look at all that we can learn from his enterprising character: 1 Jo Darr Gaya Samjho Marr Gaya This is the most timeless lesson from Gabbar Singh Courage and enterprise are the most important factors for laying the successful foundation of a growth oriented organization or a happy life 2 Kitne Aadmi The ? As part of business strategy Gabbar Singh made it a point to understand his competition and knowing that his team was defeated by only two people he understood that even a small team could make a difference 3 Arey O Sambha Kitna Inaam Rakhi Hai Sarkaar Hum Pe? Gabbar knew the importance of promoting one s own brand He put it very nicely When mothers put their kids to sleep saying So ja nahi toh Gabbar aa jayeg you know that brand value is built by shamelessly promoting your business 4 6 Goli Aur Aadmi 3? Bahut Nainsaafi Hai? Gabbar Singh had a sense of sarcasm and sadism He created an illusion where his people had a chance of survival He kills them in the next scene Moral: - Perform or perish 5 Le Ab Goli Kha Sometimes in the interest of the organization the management has to take some hard decisions He always put the interest of his establishment before himself So sometimes he had to fire some employees 6 Bahut Yaraana Lagta Hai Gabbar was good at recognizing emotions and knew how to milk them for his own good Through close observation he found that Basanti and Veeru were madly in love with each other So he motivated her to shake a leg by threatening her 2332; 2348; 2340; 2325; 2340; 2375; 2352; 2375; 2346; 2376; 2352; 2330; 2354; 2375; 2306; 2327; 2375; 2311; 2360; 2325; 2368; 2360; 2366; 2305; 2360; 2375; 2330; 2354; 2375; 2306; 2327; 2368; He had a good sense of timing while applying the carrot and stick approach He was also a lover of music and dance Mehbooba Mehbooba was his favorite bonfire song 7 Bahut Pachtaoge Tahkur Gabbar never took superficial decisions Thakur put him behind bars He made a promise to himself and returned from prison to obliterate Thakur s family and chop off those very limbs that put him behind prison walls It shows his resoluteness Very important factor for success 8 Tera Kya Hoga Kaliya? This statement shows how much employee feedback is valued during management decisions taken at the Board of directors meetings 9 Tu Kya Ladega Mujhse Thakur? Final lesson: Never underestimate your competition Gabbar had robbed Thakur of his arms but not of his willpower and intelligence Thakur finally brings Gabbar to his knees and ends his reign