Ek ladki roz jab college se ghar ati to ek ladke ko apne ghar ke bahar khada dekhti Aisa roz hota tha even pura 1 saal beet gaya Aur wo ladka roz us ko apne ghar ke samne nazar aata Wo kuch nahi kehta tha bas chup chaap kabhi agey pechay aur kabhi apne mobile phone ko dekhta Ladki ko yaqeen hone laga ki ladka usko chahta hai Ek din ladki himmat kar ke us ke pass gayi aur pucha Tum roz aise mere ghar ke bahar kyun khade hote ho ?? Ladka ghabra gaya aur foran bola Maaf karna bahen actually tumhare Wifi pe password nahi laga hua wo use karne aata hun

Sunny s mom: Beti doodh ka glass pee lo Sunny: No mama mujhe nahin peena Maa: Beti agar doodh nahin piyogi toh badi kaise hogi? Sunny: Maa apko bhi toh doodh pasand nahi tha aap bhi nahin peeti thi phir bhi aap badi ho gai na Main bhi vaise hi bina piye badi ho jaungi Maa: Achchi bachiyan zid nahin karti agar meri achchi beti ho toh doodh pee lo warna mei tum se khafa ho jaungi Sunny: OK mama aap kehti hain toh mein doodh pee leti hoon Aur is tarah sunny ne doodh pee liya Message end tak kitney gaur se padha hai ki kab non veg start hoga bus karo darindo

A Girl s Facebook status: Travelled in Bus after long time Comments Left by Male friends: 1) Awww so sweet 2) May be nextime will go together sweetie 3) Wow I want to experience it 4) You went without me ? x-( 5) Wonderful dear 6) Superlike A Boy s Facebook status: Travelled in Bus after a long time Comments Left by same Male friends: 1) Haan toh saale hum kya kare ? 2) Bas yehi teri aukat hai 3) Kamine ab auto mai bhi jaiga toh status update karega kya ??? 4) Baap ko bol kam se kam cycle lekar de 5) Usi bus ka conductor ban ja kutte 6) Ticket kharida ki nahi Bhikhari ?

Santa Aur Uski Biwi Jeeto So Rahe The Raat Ko Takreeban 2 Baje Jeeto Ke Mobile Par Message Ki Tone Baji Santa Chaunk Kar Uthta Hai Aur Mobile Pe Messagae Dekhta Hai Usmein Beautiful Likha Dekh Kar Apni Patni Ko Uthaya Aur Gusse Se Puchta Hai: Yeh Kya Hai Kiska Message Hai Kaun Aise Messages Bhej Raha Hai Tumko ??? Jeeto Bhi Hadbadahat Mein Uthi Socha Ab 45 Saal Ki Umar Mien Kaun Beautiful Kahega Bhala? Jab Mobile Dekha To Jhalla Kar Boli: Chashma Laga Kar Mobile Haath Mein Liya Karo Yeh Beautiful Nahi Balki Charging Mein Lage Phone Par BATTERYFULL Likha Hai Satyanash Kar Diya Neend Ka

Apni Sharaab Kee Lat se pareshaan Santa Doctor Ke Paas Gaya Santa: Doctor Sahab Meri Sharaab Chhudaao Doctor: Roz Kitni Peete Ho ? Santa: 4 Peg Doctor: Aaj Se 1 Peg Kam Kar Do Aur 1 Hafte Ke Baad Mujhse Milo 1 Hafte Baad Doctor: Abhi Kitni Pee Rahe Ho Roz ? Santa: Jitni Aapne Bataayi Thee Sirf 3 Peg Doctor: Aaj Se 1 Peg Aur Kam Kar Do Aur Agle Hafte Mujhe Phir Se Milo Phir 1 Hafte Ke Baad Doctor: Ab Kitne Peg Le Rahe Ho ? Santa: 2 Peg Sir Doctor: Good Ab Aaj Se Daily Sirf 1 Peg Lena Hai Theek Hai? Santa: Par Doctor Sahab 1 Peg Mein Poori Bottle Peg Kuchh Jyada Tight Nahi Ho Jayega ???

Pehle Din: Pati (phone par): Kahak ho? Patni: Ghar mein hun darling Pati: Achcha agar Ghar mein ho to mixi chalao Patni mixi chalati hai grrrrr grrrrr grrrrr grrrrrr Pati: Achcha theek hai Dusre Din Pati: Kahan ho? Patni: Ghar pe hi hun darling Pati: Achcha agar Ghar mein ho to mixi chalao Patni mixi chalati hai grrrrr grrrrr grrrrr grrrrrr Pati: Acchha theek hai Teesre Din pati phone nahin karta aur ghar pahuch jata hai Pati naukrani se: Maalkin kahan hai? Naukrani: Pata nahi sahab bahut der se kahi gayi hai lekin sahab ek baat samajh nahi aayi - Maim saab saath mein mixi kyun le gayi?

Sardiyo Mein Skin Khushk Ho Jaye To Pani Mein Haldi Aur Zara Sa Milk Powder Daal Kar Ubal Lein Thanda Ho Jaye To 1/2 Cup Dahi Daal Ke Mixture Ko Dhoop Mein 4 Ghante Rakhen Baad Mein 1 Chammach Zzaitoon Ka Tail 1 Desi Anda Aur 1 Chutki Zaafran Daal Kar Phaint Lein Zaroorat Ho To Garam Pani Daalein Jab Wo Sahi Se Paste Ban Jaye To Use Dustbin Mein Phenk Dein Aur Munh Pe Cold Cream Laga Lein Jab Badiya Se Badiya Cold Cream Market Mein Maujud Hai To Bina Wajah Time Waste Karne Kee Kya Zaroorat Hai Gaur Se Padhne Ka Shukriya Aur Galiyan Na Dein Mujhe Aage Forward Kar Dein Dil Ko Sukoon Milega

Ek naujawan ne ek buzurg se pucha: Jab duniya ek din fanah ho jani hai toh log is ke peche kyun bhaagte hain? Paisa duniya mein reh jayega toh log is ke peeche zindagi kyun lutaate hain? Cheezon ko hasil karne ke liye doston ko dushmn kyun samajhte hain? Buzurg ne teeno sawalon ko bade gaur se suna Phir unhone jaib se ek machis ki dabbi nikali usmein se 3 teeliyan uthayi phir 2 teeliyan wapis rakh diya aur 1 teeli ko tor ke us k 2 hisse kar diye aur agla hissa phenk diya pichley hisse ko thora sa nokdaar banaya or munh ke qareeb laa ke danton mein phasa hua khana nikalne lage aur bole: Mujhe kya pata ?

Patni Ne Apne Maike Se Pati Ko Phone Kiya Aur Pucha: Kaise Ho? Pati: Theek-Theek Hun Jaanu You Know Tumhaare Bina Tum Batao Tum Kaisi Ho? Patni: Main Bhi Theek Hun Meri Yaad Aati Hai? Kya Karte Ho Jab Meri Yaad Aati Hai Toh? Pati: Arey Jaanu Bahut Yaad Aati Hai Tumhaari Aur Jab Bhi Tumhe Miss Karta Hun Tab Main Tumhaari Pasand Ki Ice-cream Kesar-Pista Kha Leta Hun Ya Tumhaari Pasand Ki Chocolate Kha Leta Hun TV Pe Koi Serial Dekh Leta Hun Aur Meri Yaad Aane Pe Tum Kya Karti Ho? Patni: Mein Bhi TV Pe Match Laga Ke Bagpiper Ka Quarter Le Leti Hun 4-5 Cigarettes Phoonkti Hun Aur 1-2 Rajnigandha Kha Leti Hun

Cheetah cigarette ka kash lagane hi waala tha ki achanak khargosh wahan aaya aur bola Bhai chhod do nasha aao mere sath dekho jungle kitna khubsurat hai Cheetah khargosh ke sath chal diya Aage hathi cocaine le raha tha khargosh phir bola Bhai chhod do nasha aao mere sath dekho jungle kitna khubsurat hai Hathi bhi sath chal diya Aage Sher whisky pene ki tayari kar raha tha khargosh ne usko bhi wahi kaha Sher ne glass side pe rakha aur khargosh ko 5-6 thappad maar diye Hathi bola: Arey bhai kyun maar rahe ho is bechare ko? Sher Bola: Ye saala roz gaanja peekar aise hi sabko puri raat jungle ghumata rehta hai

Papa: Arre aaj tumhari mummy itni chup-chap kyun baithi hui hai? Son: Kuch nahin papa mummy ne lipstick maangi aur maine galati se fevistick de di Papa: (with tears in eyes) Kamaal kar diya yaar God bless you Whats Checkmate? You tell your wife: I saw a lady looked exactly like you Wife asks: WAS SHE HOT?? You can t say No and you can t even say Yes That s Checkmate Wife: Where are you? Husband: I m at Bank Wife: Wow that s good I need 20 000 for new Cell Phone 5 000 for new dress 6000 for new shoes 4000 for new purse 8000 for my new cosmetics Husband: Sorry I mean I am at Blood bank KHOON PIYOGI? KHOON ???

Bhagwan ne mujhse kaha ki Tu apna 1 pyara dost chhod de main tujhe Smartphone dunga 2 ko chhod de toh Rolex ghadi dunga 5 ko chhod de toh 50 lakh cash dunga Aur Sabhi doston ko chhod de toh Ferrari dunga Maine Bhagwan ko dekha aur kaha Hey Bhagwan Yeh dost wo hain jinhone meri har khushi har gam mein saath diya Mere bachpan se lekar aaj tak mere saath rahe Kabhi main roya to apne hathon se mere ansoo pochhe Ek glass pani bhi piya to bhi mere saath share kiya Meri ek awaz par daude chale aaye Aur aap kehte ho ki mein ek FERRARI ke liye inhe chhod dun ??? KHAIR Koi baat nahi Lekin FERRARI Red color ki hi dena

Gabbar ke adde par Dhiskyon dhiskyaon Gabbar: Yeh bhi bach gaya Tera kya hoga Kaaliya? Kaaliya: Mujhe mat maro sardaar maine aapka namak khaya hai Gabbar: Safed namak ya kala namak? Kaaliya: Safed Gabbar: Iodine tha kya usame? Kaaliya: Haan Gabbar: Free flowing hai kya? Kaaliya: Jee haan Gabbar: ISI mark hai kya? Kaaliya: Haan Gabbar: Dukan se liya ya Super Market se ya sarkaari depot se? Kaaliya: Gaon walo ne diya tha sardaar Gabbar: MRP dekha tha kya? Kaaliya: Haan Gabbar: Expiry date bhi dekhi thi kya? Kaaliya: Haan sardaar Gabbar: Tata tha ya Captain Cook? Kaaliya: Sardar main Namak Haram hoon mujhe goli mar do

Ek Pakistani American aur Indian ek ship mein ja rahe the Achaanak ek Jinn aaya aur bola: Samundar mein koi cheez phenko agar maine dhoondh li to main tumhein maar dunga aur na dhoondh paya to main tumhara Gulam Pakistani ne sui phenki Jinn ne dhoondh li aur use maar diya American ne memory card phenk diya lekin Jinn ne vo bhi dhoondh liya aur use bhi maar diya Indian ne kuchh phenka Ginn ne bohut dhoondha dhoondh dhoondh ke thak gaya aur leki usko kuch mila nahin Pareshaan ho kar us ne pucha: Batao mere aaka main haar gaya Indian bola: Main bhi tera baap hoon maine Disprin ki goli phenki thi chal beta ghar chal bohut kaam pada hai

Pappu: Papa circus dekhney chaley??? Santa: No I am busy Pappu: Us mein ek ladki ne bina kapdon ke sher pe sawari ki hai Santa: Bahut ziddi ho gaye ho har baat zidd karke manvate he lete ho Chalo chalta hun tumhaare liye Vaise bhi bahut din huey sher nahin dekha Santa ne sabse aage waali row ki seats ki ticket le li Lion show aaya 3-4 lions aaye ladkiyaan bhi aayi but jis ladki ka Santa kointezaar tha vo nahin aayi Phir Lion show khatam ho gaya aur kuch time ke baad Circus bhi khatam ho gayi Santa: Oye Pappu tumne toh kaha tha ki ek ladki bina kapdon ke aayegi? Pappu: Bina kapdo ke toh sher tha ladki nahi Papa maine jo kaha vo dobara padho