Teacher: Tum bade hokar kya karoge? Pappu: Shaadi Teacher: Nahi mera matlab hai kya banoge? Pappu: Dulha Banunga Teacher: Ohho I mean to say bade hoker kya haasil karoge? Pappu: Dulhan Teacher: Abbe Matlab bade ho kar mumy papa k liye kya karoge? Pappu: Bahu launga Teacher: Arey bewakoof Tumhare papa tumse kya chahte hain? Pappu: Pota Teacher: Hey bhagwan Abbe zindagi ka kya maksad hai? Pappu: Hum do hamare do

Ek din Santa office jaane ke liye bus mein chada toh conductor ne haste hua pucha Sir kal raat theek-thaak ghar pahunch gaye the aap? Kahin gire toh nahin ya ghar ka raasta toh nahin bhule ghar ka? Santa gusse mein Kyun? Kal raat ko mujhe kya hua tha? Conductor Kal raat aap nashe mein tunn the Santa Tum kaise kah sakte ho ki main nashe mein tha hamne toh aapas mein baat bhi nahin ki koi? Conductor Sir ji vo aisa hai ki kal raat jab aap bus mein baithe hue the tab ek madam bus mein chadhi aur aapne uthkar unhe seat offer ki thi Santa hairaani se Toh kya kisi lady ko seat offer karna gunah hai? Conductor haste hue Gunah toh nahin hai sir per us time bus mein sirf 4-6 hi passenger the

Exam ka examiner bahut strict tha aur paper bahut tough tha Examiner hall mein lagataar chakkar laga raha tha aur kisi ko cheating nahin karne de raha tha Pappu ne ek chit mei kuch likha aur vo chit us examiner ko de di Examiner ne jaise hi vo chit khol ke padi vo chup chaap apni chair pe jaa ke baith gaya Exam khatam hone ke baad sab students Pappu ke paas gaye aur pucha: Yaar tune us chit mein kya likha tha? Pappu: Sir peechhe se aapki pant phati hui hai

Wife: Khana kha liya? Husband: Khana kha liya? Wife: Batao na Husband: Batao na Wife: Pleaseee batao na Husband: Pleaseee batao na Wife: Achcha ji Meri naqal? Husband: Achcha ji Meri naqal? Wife: I Love U Husband: Haan yaar khana kha liya maine

Aurat: Baba ji mera shohar ghar aatey hi mujhe maarna peetna shuru kar dete hain Baba ek taweez nikaal ke us aurat ko deta hai aur kehta hai: Woh jaise hi ghar aaye toh tum ye TAWEEZ apne daant ke neechey dabaa lena After 5 days Aurat: Baba Ji kamaal ho gaya Taweez daant ke neechey dabane ka itna phayda hua ke ab woh mujhe kuch nahi kehte Baba: Ye phayda Taweez ka nahi balki apni Zubaan band rakhne ka Hai

Ek Din Khuda Ne Mujhse Kaha: Mat Kar Intezar Uska Is Janam Mein Uska Milna Mushkil Hai Maine Bhi Keh Diya: Lene De Maza Intezar Ka Agle Janam Mein Toh Mumkin Hai Phir Khuda Ne Kaha: Mat Kar Itna Pyar Bahut Pachhtayega Muskura Ke Maine Kaha: Dekhte Hain Tu Kitna Mujhe Tadpayega Phir Khuda Ne Kaha: Bhool Ja Usko Chal Tujhe Jannat Ki Apsra Se Milata Hun Maine Kaha: Aa Neeche Dekh Mere Pyar Ka Muskurata Chehra Tujhe Jannat Ki Apsra Bhulvata Hun Gusse Mein Khuda Ne Kaha: Mat Bhool Apni Aukaat Tu Toh Ek INsaan Hai Hans Kar Maine Bhi Challenge Phenk Diya: Toh Mila De Mujhe Mere Pyar Se Aur Saabit Kar Ki Tu Hi Bhagwan Hai Phir Khuda Ne Gusse Mein Us Se Meri Shaadi Hi Karwa Di Pyaar Ka Saara Bhoot Utar Gaya Sari Shayari Hi Bhula Di Aaj Tak Pachtaa Raha Hun Ki Kyun Maine Khuda Se Panga Liya

Sister to her brother: What are you giving to Grandmaa on her birthday? Brother: A Football Sister: Is age mein? Aur vaise bhi Grandmaa kahan khelti hai? Brother: Mere birthday per jo unhone Bhagavad Gita diya tha uska kya ?

5 year Old Boy: I Love you Mom Mom: Awwwww I Love you Too 16 year Old Boy: I Love you Mom Mom: Sorry I Have No Money 25 year Old Boy: I Love You Mom Mom: Kaun Hai ? Kahan Rehti Hai Wo ? Moral: Maa Sab Jaanti Hai 35 year Old Man: Mom I Love You Mom: Beta Pehle Hi Bola Tha Us Chudail Se Shadi Mat Karna And The Best One is 45 Year Old Man: Mom I love you Mom: Beta Main Kisi Bhi Paper Pe Sign Nahin Karungi

Boss: Kahan gaye the ? Employee: Baal katwane Boss: Office hours mein? Employee: Baal badhe bhi to office hours mein hee hai Boss: Ghar mein bhi to badhte hain Employee: To poore thode hee katwaye hai

1st Aadmi : Bhagwan main doctor hoon aur maine logo ki bahot sewa ki hai mujhe swarg mein aane do Bhawan: Nahi tum andar nahi aa sakte 2nd Aadmi: Bhagwan main Brahmin hoon aur maine sari zindagi aapki pooja ki hai mujhe swarg mein aane do Bhagwan : Nahi tum bhi andar nahi aa sakte 3rd Aadmi: Prabhu main shaadi shuda hoon Bhagwaan: Bas kar pagle rulayega kya chal andar swarg mein aaja

I found a Leaflet in newspaper this morning which read: ARE YOU AN ALCOHOLIC? CALL NOW WE CAN HELP My wife insisted I make a call I Called up It was a liquor shop offer: Buy 3 Get 1 Free Mere toh khushi ke aansu nikal aaye

Lalu s PA: Sir There is a new problem Lalu: Ka problem? PA: Ebola Lalu: Kaun bola? PA: Koi bola nahin Sir Ebola Lalu: Arrey Kaun bola bhai? Nitish bola? Modi bola? Kaun bola? PA: Sir aap samajh hi Nahin rahey hain Ebola Lalu: Abey ham samajh Nahin rahey hain Ki tum pagla Gaye ho ka? Bola kaun Manmohnwa Bol Diya ka re?

Ek ladki ne apne boyfriend ko phone kiya toh us ke 10 saal ke bhatije ne phone uthaya Ladki: Hello bachche zara apne uncle ko phone dena please Bachcha: Aap ka kya naam bataun uncle ko?aam Name? Ladki: Apne uncle se kaho ki unki Jaan-E-Man ka phone hai Jawab mein bachchey ne jo kaha us ko sun kar bechaari ladki behosh ho gayi Bachhe ne badi masumiyat se kaha: Lekin auntie ji is mobile pe toh Bitch Likha hua aa raha hai

Customer (ek ladki): Agar mein aaj cheque deposit karun toh wo kab clear hoga? Clerk: Kam se kam 3 din lagenge madam Ladki: Dono bank amne-samne toh hain phir bhi itna time kyun? Clerk: Madam PROCEDURE to FOLLOW karna padta hai na Socho agar aap Shamshan ke bahar hi mar gai toh aapko pahle ghar lekar jayenge ya wahin nipta denge ?

Ek Sharaabi Ne Doston Ki Dawat Ka Program Banaya Aur Apne Hi Ghar Se Raat Ko Bakra Chori Kiya Aur Khoob Dawat Ki Subha Jab Ghar Pahuncha Toh Bakra Ghar Mein Hi Tha Sharaabi Apni Biwi Se Puchta Hai: Oye Ye Bakra Kahan Se Aya? Biwi Gusse MEin: Bakre Ko Maro Goli Ye Batao Raat Ko Tum Choron Ki Tarha KUTTE Ko Kaha Aur Kyun Le Kar Gaye the ?