Shayari Bazar

Dear Staff Please be advised that these are NEW rules and regulations implemented to raise the efficiency of our firm TRANSPORTATION: It is advised that you come to work driving a car according to your salary a) If we see you driving a Honda we assume you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise b) If you drive a 10 year old car or taking public transportation we assume you must have lots of savings therefore you do not need a raise c) If you drive a Pickup you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise ANNUAL LEAVE: Each employee will receive 104 Annual Leave days a year ( Wow said 1 employee) They are called SATURDAYs AND SUNDAYs LUNCH BREAK: a) Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy b) Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure c) Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch because that s all the time needed to drink a Slim Fast and take a diet pill SICK DAYS: We will no longer accept a doctor Medical Cert as proof of sickness If you are able to go to the doctor you are able to come to work SURGERY: As long as you are an employee here you need all your organs You should not consider removing anything We hired you intact To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment INTERNET USAGE: All personal Internet usage will be recorded and charges will be deducted from your bonus (if any) and if we decide not to give you any charges will be deducted from your salary Important Note: Charges applicable as Rs 20 per minute as we have 10MB connection Just for information 73% of staff will not be entitled to any salary for next 3 months as their Internet charges have exceeded their 3 months salary Thank you for your loyalty to our company We are here to provide a positive employment experience Therefore all questions comments concerns complaints frustrations irritations aggravations insinuations allegations accusations contemplation consternation and input should be directed somewhere else Regards CEO