I went into the confessional box after years of being away from the Church Inside I found a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap On one wall there s a row of decanters with fine Irish whiskey and Waterford crystal glasses On the other wall is a dazzling array of the finest cigars and chocolates Then the priest comes in I say to him Father forgive me for it s been a very long time since I ve been to confession but I must first admit that the confessional box is much more inviting than it used to be He replies Get out you moron you re on my side

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