My girlfriend asked if I would swim across the ocean for her, and I said It`s freaking 2011, I`ll rent a boat..

The good people sleep much better at night than the bad people. Of course, the bad people enjoy the waking hours much more.

I lost a bet and I have to come here and ask the hottest girl on a date…who do you girls think is the hottest girl in this place?

In every circle of friends there’s always that one person everyone secretly hates. Don’t have one? Then it’s probably you.

If u feel stressed, give yourself a break Eat some ice cream, chocolates, candy & cake Why? Because stressed spelled backwards is DESSERTS..

People make the world go around but at some point don’t you wish it were flat so all the idiots would keep walking and never come back?