A father passing by his son s bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the pillow It was addressed Dad With the worst premonition he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands Dear Dad It is with great regret and sorrow that I m writing you I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you I ve been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice but I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercings tattoos her tight Motorcycle clothes and because she is so much older than I am But it s not only the passion Dad She s pregnant Stacy said that we will be very happy She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter We share a dream of having many more children Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana cocaine doesn t really hurt anyone We ll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people in the commune for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want In the meantime we ll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better She sure deserves it Don t worry Dad I m 15 and I know how to take care of myself Someday I m sure we ll be back to visit so you can get to know your many grandchildren Love your son Johnny P S Dad none of the above is true I m over at my friend Tommy s house I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the school report that s on my desk I love you Call when it is safe for me to come home

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