Shayari Bazar

After I retired my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart Unfortunately like most men I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out Equally unfortunate my wife is like most women - loves to browse leaves me with endless time to fulfill Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Wal-Mart Dear Mrs Harris: Over the past six months your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store Our complaints against your husband Mr Harris are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras: 1 June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people s carts when they weren t looking 2 July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals 3 July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women s restroom 4 July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice Code 3 in House wares Get on it right away This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance causing management to lose time; and costing the company money We don t have a Code 3 5 August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M Ms on layaway 6 August 14: Moved a CAUTION - WET FLOOR sign to a carpeted area 7 August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he d invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged 8 August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed Why can t you people just leave me alone? EMTs were called 9 September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose 10 September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were 11 October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme 12 October 6: In the auto department he practiced his Madonna Look using different sizes of funnels 13 October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through yelled PICK ME PICK ME 14 October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker he assumed a fetal position and screamed; OH NO IT S THOSE VOICES AGAIN 15 Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where is the fitting room? And last but not least: 16 October 23: Went into a fitting room shut the door waited awhile; then yelled very loudly Hey There s no toilet paper in here One of the clerks passed out