TO: ALL EMPLOYEES FROM: Human Resources It has been brought to management s attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their coworkers Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended this type of language will be no longer tolerated We do however realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with coworkers Therefore a list of TRY SAYING new phrases has been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner without risk of offending our more sensitive employees SO TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late INSTEAD OF: When the hell do you expect me to do this? TRY SAYING: I m certain that is not feasible INSTEAD OF: No fuckin way TRY SAYING: Really? INSTEAD OF: You ve got to be shitting me TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a shit TRY SAYING: Of course I m concerned INSTEAD OF: Ask me if I give a shit TRY SAYING: I wasn t involved in the project INSTEAD OF: It s not my frigging problem TRY SAYING: That s interesting INSTEAD OF: What the hell? ? TRY SAYING: I m not sure I can implement this INSTEAD OF: Fuck it It won t work TRY SAYING: I ll try to schedule that INSTEAD OF: Why the hell didn t you tell me sooner? TRY SAYING: Are you sure this is a problem? INSTEAD OF: Who the hell cares? TRY SAYING: He s not familiar with the problem INSTEAD OF: He s got his head up his ass TRY SAYING: Excuse me sir? INSTEAD OF: Eat shit and die TRY SAYING: So you weren t happy with it? INSTEAD OF: Kiss my ass TRY SAYING: I m a bit overloaded at this moment INSTEAD OF: Fuck it I m on salary TRY SAYING: I don t think you understand INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your ass TRY SAYING: I love a challenge INSTEAD OF: This job sucks TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that? INSTEAD OF: Who the hell died and made you boss? TRY SAYING: I see INSTEAD OF: Blow me TRY SAYING: Yes we really should discuss it INSTEAD OF: Another darned meeting TRY SAYING: I don t think this will be a problem INSTEAD OF: I really don t give a shit TRY SAYING: He s somewhat insensitive INSTEAD OF: He s a frigging prick TRY SAYING: She s an aggressive go getter INSTEAD OF: She s a ball busting bitch TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training INSTEAD OF: You don t know what the hell you re doing

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