Shayari Bazar

This is an actual job application someone submitted at a McDonald s fast food establishment Not sure if they hired him NAME:Armando Rodriguez DESIRED POSITION Reclining Ha ha ha But seriously whatever s available If I was in a position to be picky I wouldn t be applying here in the first place DESIRED SALARY 185 000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package If that s not possible make an offer and we can haggle EDUCATION Yes LAST POSITION HELD Reclining on my mom s couch SALARY Less than I m worth MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes REASON FOR LEAVING It sucked HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK Any PREFERRED HOURS 1:30 - 3:30 pm Monday Tuesday and Thursday DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS? Yes but they re better suited to a more intimate environment MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER? If I had one would I be here? DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS? Of what? DO YOU HAVE A CAR? I think the more appropriate question here would be Do you have a car that runs? HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION? I may already be a winner of the Publisher s Clearinghouse Sweepstakes DO YOU SMOKE?Only when set on fire WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS? Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy super model who thinks I m the greatest thing since sliced bread Actually I d like to be doing that now DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE? No but I dare you to prove otherwise SIGN HERE Scorpio with Libra rising