A man was unhappy with the way his laundry was done at the local Chinese Laundry So he wrote a note and put it in the bag with the next collection of soiled clothes: USE MORE SOAP ON UNDERWEAR He got the clean laundry back and was still dissatisfied with the results so the following week he enclosed another note: USE MORE SOAP ON UNDERWEAR The Chinese laundry man became very annoyed and when his clean laundry was delivered it contained a note from him: I USE PLENTY SOAP ON UNDERWEAR USE MORE PAPER ON

When Bob found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died he decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with So one evening he went to a singles bar where he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen Her natural beauty took his breath away I may look like just an ordinary man he said as he walked up to her but in just a week or two my father will die and I ll inherit 20 million dollars Impressed the woman went home with him that evening Three days later she became his stepmothe

A tractor salesman was passing a farm where the farmer was plowing the field with a bull He goes over and offers to sell the farmer a tractor to plow with The farmer tells him I don t need a tractor I have three new ones at the barn Well if you have three new tractors at the barn why are you plowing this field with that bull asked the salesman ? The farmer replied This is part of the bull s continuing education I am teaching him that there is more to farming than messing with cows and tearing down fences

While fishing off the Australia coast a tourist capsized his boat He could swim but his fear of crocodiles kept him clinging to the overturned craft Spotting an old beachcomber standing on the shore the tourist shouted Are there any crocs around here? Naw the man hollered back they ain t been around for years Feeling safe the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore About halfway there he asked the guy How d you get rid of the crocs? We didn t do nothing the beachcomber said The sharks got em

An interoffice cricket game was held every year between the marketing and support staff of one company In 2001 the support staff whipped the marketing department soundly But the marketing department showed how they earn their keep by posting this memo on the bulletin board after the game: `The Marketing Department is pleased to announce that for the 2001 cricket season we came in 2nd place having lost but one game all year The Support Department however had a rather dismal season as they won only one game `

It was early one morning when the Pastor heard a noise outside his door When he opened it he found a donkey standing outside which immediately fell over dead Not exactly knowing what to do about the situation he called the local sheriff and told him about what was laying before him The sheriff couldn t resist jabbing at the Minister and said Pastor I thought the first duty of the Minister was to bury the dead Without hesitation the Pastor said No the first duty of the Minister is to notify the next of kin

A merchant captain and several of his officers were returning to the ship after an evening of partying ashore As they climbed the gangway the captain threw up all over himself Pointing to an apprentice seaman above him he shouted Give that man five days in the lockup for vomiting The following morning the captain was checking the log and saw that the young seaman had been sentenced to ten days and asked the chief mate why Well Sir when we got you undressed we found that he d also took a dump in your pants

New drugs for men created by women scientists are waiting for FDA approval ANIVERSIA: Triggers memories for birthdays and anniversaries SLIMOXIL: Widens male cornea making wives appear slim SPORTOBLIND X: Reacts with optic nerve to prevent men from recognizing the word Sports on TV WORKOCETAMOL: Generates an insatiable desire in men to do household chores SHOPHOFOBEX: Makes men eager to take wives for shopping every week and wait patiently FLIRTONATE-N: It reduces vision whenever a pretty woman passes by

Father-मेरा बेटा पढ़ाई मै कैसा है
टीचर- बस ये समझ लो कि आर्यभट्ट ने शुन्य की खोज ईसी के लिये की थी

Two friends meet in the street One looked forlorn and almost on the verge of tears The other man said Hey how come you look like the whole world caved in? The sad fellow said Let me tell you Three weeks ago an uncle died and left me fifty thousand That s not bad Hold on I m just getting started Two weeks ago a cousin I never knew kicked the bucket and left me ninty thousand I d like that Last week my grandfather passed away I inherited almost a quarter of a million How you look so glum? This week nothing

Unable to attend the funeral after his father died a son who lived far away called his brother and told him Do something nice for Dad and send me the bill Later he got a bill for 200 00 which he paid The next month he got another bill for 200 00 which he also paid figuring it was some incidental expense Bills for 200 00 kept arriving every month and finally the man called his brother again to find out what was going on Well said the other brother you said to do something nice for Dad So I rented him a tuxedo

A student visited his old school 20 years after his graduation and met an old Science professor of his The professor happened to be grading exam papers and the student was surprise to notice that the questions were exactly the same as they were two decades ago He asked the professor about the possibility of the leakage of the exam paper such that the students would have known the questions in advance The professor smiled wryly and answered Don t worry about that my dear boy I ve changed the answers every yea

I had the toughest time of my life First I got angina pectoris and then arteriosclerosis Just as I was recovering from these I got tuberculosis double pneumonia and phthisis Then they gave me hypodermics Appendicitis was followed by tonsillectomy These gave way to aphasia and hypertrophic cirrhosis I completely lost my memory for a while I know I had diabetes and acute ingestion besides gastritis rheumatism lumbago and neuritis I don t know how I pulled through it It was the hardest spelling test I ve ever had

One day Paddy an Irishman goes into a pharmacy reaches into his pocket and takes out a small Irish whiskey bottle and a teaspoon He pours some liquid onto the teaspoon and offers it to the pharmacist and says Could you taste this for me please? The pharmacist takes the teaspoon puts it in his mouth swills the liquid around and swallows it Does that taste sweet to you? says Paddy No not at all says the pharmacist Oh that s a relief says Paddy The doctor told me to come here and get my urine tested for suga

On the first day of college the Dean addressed the students pointing out some of the rules: The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students and the male dormitory to the female students Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined Rs 50 the first time He continued Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined Rs 75 Being caught a third time will cost you a fine of Rs 150 Are there any questions? At this point a male student in the crowd inquired: How much for a season pass?