Shayari Bazar

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done The monsignor replied “When I am worried about getting nervous On the pulpit I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass If I start to get nervous I take a sip ” So next Sunday he took the monsignor’s advice At the beginning of the sermon he got nervous and took a drink He proceeded to talk up a storm Upon his return to his office after the mass he found the following note on the door: 1 Sip the vodka don’t gulp 2 There are 10 commandments not 12 3 There are 12 disciples not 10 4 Jesus was consecrated not constipated 5 Jacob wagered his donkey he did not bet his ass 6 We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J C 7 The Father Son and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy Junior and the spook 8 David slew Goliath he did not kick the sh*t out of him 9 When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey don’t say he was stoned off his ass 10 We do not refer to the cross as the “Big T ” 11 When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said “take this and eat it for it is my body ” He did not say “Eat me” 12 The Virgin Mary is not called “Mary with the Cherry 13 The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub Yeah God 14 Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at ST Peter’s not a peter pulling contest at St Taffy’s