A priest rushed from church one day to keep a golf date He was halfway down the first fairway waiting to hit his second shot when he heard the familiar FORE and a ball slammed into his back Soon the golfer who had made the drive was on the scene to offer his apologies When the priest assured him that he was all right the man smiled Thank goodness Father he exclaimed I ve been playing this game for forty years and now I can finally tell my friends that I`ve hit my first holy one

A wealthy American tourist checks into an Irish hotel Upon his arrival the tiny reception area becomes filled with not only suitcases but golf clubs golf shoes golf umbrellas and several boxes of golf balls Surely now sir cried the manager eyeing the baggage with alarm there must be some mistake We`ve no golf course you see and you`ll be finding there`s not one within miles of the place Well now that`s no problem replied the tourist I`m having one sent over with my heavy baggage

A college senior took his new girlfriend to Super Bowl XXXV The young couple found seats in the crowded stadium and were watching the action A substitute was put into the game and as he was running onto the field to take his position the boy said to his girlfriend Take a good look at that fellow I expect him to be our best man next year His girlfriend snuggled closer to him and said That`s the strangest way I ever heard of for a fellow to propose to a girl Regardless of how you said it I accept

The huge college freshman decided to try out for the football team Can you tackle? asked the coach Watch this said the freshman who proceeded to run smack into a telephone pole shattering it to splinters Wow said the coach I m impressed Can you run? Of course I can run said the freshman He was off like a shot and in just over nine seconds he had run a hundred yard dash Great enthused the coach But can you pass a football? The freshman hesitated for a few seconds Well sir he said if I can swallow it I can probably pass it

Tim and Joe finished their weekly round of golf with Tim pulling out his typical victory although not by the customary wide margin Even though the match was unusually close Joe seemed more upset than usual by the outcome Talk about the worst luck in the world grumbled Joe as they headed into the locker room I just can`t seem to buy a darn break Why are you being so hard on yourself? asked Tim You played great all week Heck you almost actually won That`s what`s so aggravating yelled Joe… I cheated like crazy and I still lost

One day a diver was enjoying the aquatic world twenty feet below sea level He noticed a guy at the same depth but with no scuba gear whatsoever The diver went below another twenty feet and the guy joined him a moment later The diver went down even farther and the same guy was right behind him The confused diver took out out his waterproof chalkboard and wrote How the heck are you able to stay under this deep without equipment? The guy took the board and chalk erased what the diver had written and wrote I m drowning you freakin moron

Phil loved golf but his eye sight had gotten so bad that he couldn t find his ball once he d hit it He consulted with his wife and she recommended that Phil bring along her uncle John Phil said But John is 80 years old and half senile His wife replied Yes but his eyesight is incredible Phil finally agreed and took John along He teed off and could feel that he had hit it solidly He asked Ted Do you see it? John nodded his head and said Boy that was a beautiful shot Phil excitedly asked Well where did it land? John said Hmmm I forgot

Cricket has reached exciting level with IPL Infusing the same thing into exams some suggestion: 1 Reduce exam duration to 1 hour and marks to 50 2 introduce strategic break after 30 minutes 3 Give free hit i e a chance foe students to frame their own questions and write answers 4 First 15 min power play i e no invigilator in the examination hall 5 Introduce their fair play awards 6 Cheer girls to cheer for every correct answers written 7 Introduce one award to the most correct answers in the exams i e maximum sixes of the match JAI HO

A man and his friend meet at the clubhouse and decide to play a round of golf The man has a little dog with him and on the first green when he sinks a 20-foot putt the little dog starts to yip stands up on its hind legs and walks around in circles Amazed the friend says “Wow that dog is really talented What does he do if you miss a putt?” “Somersaults ” the man says “Somersaults ” the friend exclaims “That’s incredible How many does he do?” “It all depends on how hard I kick him ”

A golfer sends his ball into the trees As he tries to bring the ball back to the fairway he discovers a gap among the trees With his wooden club he tries to hit the ball to the green in his second hit However the ball hits a tree bounces back and lands in the golfer s face He dies on the spot At the heavenly gate St Peter asks the golfer about his activities back on earth When he hears that the man used to play golf St Peter with seeming interest asks And were you any good at it? You could say that the deceased smiles I made it here in two strokes

Shortly after being assigned to a new base a Lieutenant and his wife were invited to the Colonel`s home for an evening of bridge The Lieutenant was partnered with the Colonel`s wife and vice versa After many hands the Lieutenant excused himself to use the toilet but accidentally left the door ajar When the sound of splashing echoed through the family room his wife was greatly embarrassed and attempted to apologize The Colonel`s wife smiled demurely Don`t worry about it; this is the first time all evening that I`ve been able to tell what he has in his hand

After a 2 year study the National Science Foundation announced the following results on the American Male s recreational preferences: The sport of choice for unemployed or incarcerated people is: Basketball The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is: Bowling The sport of choice for blue-collar workers is: Football The sport of choice for supervisors is: Baseball The sport of choice for middle management is: Tennis The sport of choice for corporate officers is: golf Conclusion: The higher you rise in the corporate structure the smaller your balls become

It was a sunny Saturday morning on the course and I was beginning my preshot routine on 1 visualizing my upcoming shot when a voice came over the clubhouse oudspeaker Would the gentleman on the ladies tee back up to the Men`s tee please I was still deep in my routine seemingly impervious to the interruption Again the announcement Would the MAN on the WOMEN`S tee kindly back up to the men`s tee I finally stopped turned looked through the clubhouse window directly at the person with the mike and shouted back Would the person in the clubhouse kindly shut up and et me pay my second shot?

While sports fishing off the Malabar coast a tourist capsized his boat He could swim but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft Spotting an old beachcomber standing on the shore the tourist shouted Are there any gators around here? No the man hollered back They ain t been around for years Feeling safe the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore About halfway there he asked the guy How d you get rid of the gators? We didn t do much of anything the beachcomber said Then how come they dissappeared said the tourist The beachcomber added The sharks got em

One day a scuba diver was enjoying the aquatic world 20 feet below sea level Looking around he saw a guy at the same depth without any scuba gear on so he decided to go down another 20 feet He took another look around and low and behold there was the same guy I can t believe it thought the scuba diver I bet he can t go down another 25 feet So the diver goes down another 25 feet and again there is the guy Totally amazed the scuba diver pulls out a chalkboard and writes How the heck are you able to go so deep and stay under so long without any equipment? The guy grabs the chalkboard and writes I m drowning you moron