Shayari Bazar

A transcript of the new answering service recently installed at the Mental Health Institute Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hotline If you are obsessive-compulsive press 1 repeatedly If you are co-dependent please ask someone to press 2 for you If you have multiple personalities press 3 4 5 and 6 If you are paranoid we know who you are and what you want Stay on the line so we can trace your call If you are delusional press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship If you are schizophrenic listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press If you are a manic-depressive it doesn’t matter which number you press no one will answer If you have a nervous disorder please fidget with the hash key until a representative comes on the line If you have amnesia press 8 and state your name address phone number date of birth social security number and your mother s maiden name If you have post-traumatic stress disorder slowly and carefully press 000 If you have bi-polar disorder please leave a message after the beep or before the beep Please wait for the beep If you have short-term memory loss press 9 If you have short-term memory loss press 9 If you have short-term memory loss press 9 If you have short-term memory loss press 9 If you have low self esteem please hang up All of our operators are too busy to talk to you