Santa and his wife Jeeto were sitting around the breakfast table one lazy Sunday morning Santa said to her If I were to die suddenly I want you to immediately sell all my stuff Now why would you want me to do something like that? she asked I figure that you would eventually remarry and I don t want some other jerk using my stuff Jeeto looked at Santa and said What makes you think I d marry another jerk?

Santa was sitting on his porch when a man walked up with a pad and pencil in his hand What can I do for you? Santa politely asked You selling something? No sir I m not I m a Census Taker the man replied A what? Santa asked more confused than ever A Census Taker he explained We re trying to find out how many people are in the India Well you re wasting your time here Santa answered finally I have no idea

Santa was standing at the Ludhiana railway station with his wife Jeeeto and son His son wanted to check his weight and he took a coin from Santa and stood on the machine Unfortunately he could not reach the slot meant for inserting the coin Suddenly our Santa got a brilliant idea He lifted lifted his son and helped him insert the coin All the three were wondering what made the kid weightless even on EARTH

One day Banta got a letter from Santa `Dear Banta I am suffering very much So please help me Please give me 10 000/- I will return after 6 months ` Banta thought that he should not give the money to Santa After some time he thought of a great idea then Banta started to write a letter to Santa `My dear friend I am really sorry Unfortunately I could not receive your letter in which you asked me Rs 10 000/-`

Santa ne Live Radio Station call ki: Hello ji ye Radio station hai ? RJ: Ji Haan boliye Santa: Meri awaaz pura shehar sun raha hai ? RJ: J Haan Santa: Yani ghar mein jo meri biwi Radio sun rahi hai wo bhi sun rahi hogi ?? RJ (Gusse mein): Haaan bhai haan Santa: Hello Jeeto Agar meri aawaz sun rahi hai toh jaldi se Motor chala de Main oopar chhat par toilet mein hoon aur tanki mein Paani khatam ho gaya hai

Ek Baar 4 Yaar Jua Khel Rahe The Ek Dost Patte Baantne Hi Waala Tha Ki Tabhi Police Aa Gayi Police Inspector: Tum Sab Jua Khel Rahe Ho Chalo Sab Lock-up Mein 3 Freinds Ek Saath: Janaab Hum Kaha Jua Khel Rahe Hai Hamare Haath Mein Toh Patte Bhi Nahi Hain Hum Toh Aise Hi Baithe Hain Inspector to 4th Guy: Tu Jua Khel Raha Hai Tere Haath Mein Toh Patte Bhi Hain 4th Guy: Main Jua Khel Raha Tha? Par Kiske Saath?

Banta called his friend Santa and told him that he recently met the woman of his dreams Now what should he do? Santa said Send her some flowers and on the card invite her for a home-cooked meal Banta liked the idea so he invited the woman The day after the meal Santa calls Banta and asks about the meal Banta It was a flop idea Santa Didn t the girl come to your house? Banta She did but she refused to cook

Banta: My grandfather s watch fell in a well and when it was found after 30 years it was still keeping correct time Santa: So what is so great about it? Once my grandfather himself fell into a well and after thirty years when he was taken out he was still alive Banta: How can it be possible? What was he doing in the well for thirty years? Santa: Why not? He was winding your grandfather’s wrist-watch

Banta goes over to visit one of his friends While he is at her friend s house it starts to rain very heavily the type that is not going to stop His friend tells him to spend the night at his house and go home the next day When he hears this he rushes out the door and comes a while later totally drenched and carrying a small bag So his friend asks Where did you run off too Bant says I went home to get my pyjamas

Santa was invited to his friend`s home for dinner Banta the host preceded every request to his wife Preeto by endearing terms calling her Honey My Love Darling Sweetheart Pumpkin etc Santa looked at Banta and remarked That is really nice After all these years that you have been married you keep calling your wife those pet names Banta hung his head and whispered To tell you the truth I forgot her name three years ago

Santa came home from a secret two year mission only to find his wife Jeeto with a new born baby Furious he was determined to track down the father to extract revenge Was it my friend Banta he demanded No his weeping wife replied Was it my friend Ramta then? he asked No she said even more upset Well which one of my no good friends did this then? he asked Don t you think I have any friends of my own? Jeeto snapped

Santa had saved up a lot of money to buy a car But when he had required sum instead of buying a car he brought a buffalo Santa ji you were always saying you wanted a car to drive to the the market And now you have gone and brought another buffalo Won t you look ridiculous riding a buffalo to the market? complained his wife Jeeto Quite unabashed the Santa replied Wouldn t I look more ridiculous trying to milk a Maruti?

As the crowded elevator descended Banta s wife Preeto became increasingly furious with Banta who was delighted to be pressed against a gorgeous girl As the elevator stopped at the main floor the girl suddenly whirled slapped Banta and said That will teach you to pinch Bewildered Banta was halfway to the parking lot with Preeto when he choked I I didn t pinch that girl Of course you didn t said Preeto consolingly I did

Banta a construction worker goes to the doctor and says Doc I`m constipated The doctor examines him for a minute and then says Lean over the table Banta leans over the table the doctor whacks him on the ass with a bat CRACK CRACK CRACK and then sends him into the bathroom Banta comes out a few minutes later and says Doc I feel great What should I do to prevent constipation ? The doctor says Stop wiping with cement bags

Banta was driving down a quiet country lane when out into the road strayed a rooster Smack The rooster disappeared under the car and up floated a cloud of feathers Shaken Banta pulled over at the farmhouse rang the doorbell A farmer appeared Banta somewhat nervously said I think I killed your rooster Please allow me to replace him Suit yourself the farmer replied you can go join the other chickens that are around the back