Jeeto caught her husband Santa searching high and low all around his living room Jeeto: What are you searching for? Santa: Hidden cameras Jeeto: And what makes you think that there are hidden cameras here? Santa: That guy on TV knows exactly what I am doing Why every few minutes he keeps saying ’You are watching the Star News channel’ How does he know that?
At night someone knocks on the door Jeeto wakes up and asks: Santa is that you? Silence She returns to bed Again a knock Santa don t make me nervous is that you? Silence She waits a while then returns to bed Again a knock She opens the door to find her drunken husband Santa standing there You moron I was asking if it was you why weren t you answering??? I was nodding you
The order was to account for the round consumed by a sentry on duty in a camp in the desert-by turning in the empty cases and showing what he had shot One night it was our Santa`s turn On the following morning the officer in charge found a shoe box tied with string on his desk Upon opening it he discovered five empty shells a live rattlesnake and a note Said the note: I missed
Santa: Do you know anything about this fax-machine? Banta: A little What`s wrong? Santa: Well I sent a fax and the recipient called back to say all she received was a blank page I tried it again and the same thing happened Banta: How did you load the sheet? Santa: I didn`t want anyone else to read it by accident so I folded it so only the recipient would open it and read it
A traffic Policeman stopped a woman for exceeding the posted speed limit He asked the driver her name She said I m Mrs Ladislav Abdulkhashim Zybkcicraznovskaya from the Republic of Uzbekistan visiting my daughter in Columbia As she finished speaking the cop paused for a moment and then put away his summons book and pen and said Well OK but don t let me catch you speeding again
A guy traveling through the prairies of the USA stopped at a small town and went to a bar He stood at the end of the bar ordered a drink and lit up a cigar As he sipped his drink he stood there quietly blowing smoke rings After he blew nine or ten smoke rings into the air an angry American Indian stomped up to him and said One more remark like that and I ll smash your face in
Bihar school teacher s killer English: 1 Pick up the paper and fall in the dust-bin 2 Both of you three stand together separately 3 Will you hang that calendar or I ll HANG MYSELF 4 Tomorrow call your parents especially mother and father 5 Why are you looking at the monkey outside when I am in the class ? 6 I have 2 daughters both are girls 7 Stand in the middle of the corne
Santa once wanted to transfer some files form one PC to another Following was the steps followed by him 1) Right clicked the mouse on the file which he wanted to transfer and selected CUT option 2) Disconnected the mouse from that PC 3) Took that mouse carefully and connected it to the other PC where he wanted to copy that file 4) Right clicked the mouse and selected the PASTE option
Banta Singh: Yaar Santa
Last Year The Name Plate Outside ur House
Read Santa Singh B.A.
This Year It Read Santa Singh M.A.
Wen Did u Finish urs Masters Degree
Santa Singh: You Dont Understand
Last Year My Wife Died
I Put B.A. To Indicate Bachelor Again.
Den I Took A Second Wife So M.A. Is Married Again
Santa is appearing for his University final examination He takes his seat in the examination hall stares at the question paper for five minutes and then in a fit of inspiration takes his shoes off and throws them out of the window His shirt pant socks and watch follow suit The invigilator alarmed approaches him and asks what is going on I am only following the instructions - Answer in brief
Cop: How did you kill 50 people in a car crash? Santa: I suddenly lost control Cop: Then what happened? Santa: I saw 2 people on the right a wedding party on the left You tell me which should I have hit? Cop: The 2 people on the right would have certainly caused less damage Santa: Exactly what I thought I hit the 1st one but then the other one person ran into the wedding so I went after him
Santa and the local priest were always fighting and arguing and eventually they finished up in court After listening to evidence from bath sides the magistrate said I feel sure that this can be settled amicably Shake hands with each other and say something for good will The priest shook Santa s hand and said I wish for you what you wish for me See Your Honour said Santa HE S STARTING AGAIN
Banta wanted to board his horse The first farmer he asked said he would keep it at Rs 250 a day plus he would keep the manure Banta thought that was too high and went to another farmer His price was Rs 200 per day plus he would get to keep the manure Then he went to Santa who asked just Rs 50 a day Banta asked Don t you want to keep the manure? Santa said At Rs 50 a day there won t be any
Banta s wife Preeto went to her doctor to see what could be done about her constipation It s terrible she said I haven t moved my bowels in a week I see Have you done anything about it? asked the doctor Naturally Preeto replied I sit in the bathroom for a half-hour in the morning and again at night No the doctor said I mean do you take anything? Naturally Preeto answered I take a newspape
A man passing an orchard noticed Banta with a herd of pigs gathered around his feet Banta was holding a pig up above his shoulder so it could bite off an apple Then he put the pig down and raised another then another The passerby shouted to Banta: Why don`t you just shake the tree and let the apples fall on the ground? That would save a lot of time Banta responded What do pigs care about time?
