A man was on trial for selling drugs and his neighbour Santa was called as a witness The prosecutor asked: Did you ever get any cocaine from the defendant? No sir answered Santa Did you ever get any from his wife? No sir Did you ever get any from his daughters? Excuse me sir Santa said are we still talking about cocaine?
Santa hired a new chauffeur Jeeto asked the chauffer to take her out for shopping and was very shaken by the experience Back home she pleaded with Santa Please dear you must sack this new chauffeur at once He is so rash he nearly killed me three times this morning Darling don t be so hasty replied Santa give him another chance
Santa Banta were sitting on the bank of a river in Africa dangling their feet in the water Suddenly Banta let out a yell and the Santa said: `What is the matter?`The Banta replied: `A crocodile has just bitten off one of my feet ``Which one?` Santa asked `What does it matter?` Banta replied `those crocodiles all look alike to me `
Santa lost his cheque booklet He decided to go to the bank after two days to report The Bank manager said to him But I warned you to be very careful with your cheque book because anyone can forge your signature Santa replied I am not a fool Sir I have signed all the cheques already so they won t have space to forge my signature
Santa is driving up a steep narrow mountain road A woman is driving down the same road As they pass each other the woman leans out the window and yells PIG Santa immediately leans out his window and replies BITCH They each continue on their way and as the man rounds the next corner he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road
Several weeks after Banta had been hired he was called into the personnel manager`s office What is the meaning of this? the manager asked When you applied for the job you told us you had 5 years` experience Now we discover this is the first job you`ve ever had Well Banta said in your ad you said you wanted somebody with imagination
Banta goes to see his supervisor in the front office Sir he says we re doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow and my wife Preeto needs me to help with the top floor and the garage moving and hauling stuff We re short-handed Banta the boss replies I can t give you the day off Thanks Sir says Banta I knew I could count on you
Santa went into a drug store and asked the pharmacist if he could give him something for hiccups Without warning the pharmacist suddenly reached out and slapped Santa hard across the face What did you do that for? asked Santa indignantly Well you haven t got hiccups any more have you? I haven t got hiccups - my wife has replied Santa
Santa got up in the middle of the night to answer the telephone Is this one one one one? says the voice No this is eleven eleven Are you sure it is not one one one one? No this is eleven eleven Well wrong number Sorry to have got you up on the middle of the night That is all right mister I had to get up to answer the telephone anyway
Banta asked his wife to get some tea when his friend Santa dropped in uninvited `There is no sugar in the house and the shops are closed because of a bandh ` replied Mrs Banta `Not to worry ` replied Banta `instead of a spoon of sugar you can give me a kiss ` `What about Santa? He usually takes two spoonfuls of sugar ` replied Mrs Banta
I`m ashamed of the way we live wife said to her lazy husband our Santa who refused to find a job My father pays our rent my mother buys all of our food my sister buys our clothes my aunt bought us a car I`m just so ashamed Santa rolled over on the couch You should be ashamed he agreed Those two worthless brothers of yours never give us a thing
Banta a Managing Director was interviewing a gorgeous looking girl for the post of Personal Secretary After about half an hour Banta finally asked the lady what salary she expected? Very modestly she replied “Rs 2500 Sir ” “With pleasure ” said Banta “In that case Rs 4500 Sir ” was the prompt reply by the lady
Banta: Santa itna udhaas kyu baita hai
Santa: yaar betting mein maine 2000 gavaa diyaa
Banta: kaise
Santa: India pe 1000 rupaiye ka bet lagaaya tha aur India ne match haar gaya
Banta: lekin 2000 kaise
Santa: aaj us match ka highlights daale
India pe ummeed rakh ke phir 1000 dala tha
Santa saw that his friend Banta was very depressed What happened? asked Santa Yaar I lost Rs 800 in a bet yesterday How come ? Well yesterday the one-day match between India and Australia was being shown live on TV I bet Rs 500 that India would win but I lost the bet But thats only Rs 500 where did the rest go? Yaar I bet on the highlights too
Banta an eager young man entered his prospective boss s office for an interview One thing our company is very particular about is cleanliness I hope you wiped your shoe on the door mat while coming in? said the boss Yes sir Banta replied promptly The boss continued One more thing we re very particular about is honesty There is no door mat outside
