A rich businessman was telling our bachelor Banta about the plans for his unmarried daughters I have put aside Rs 2 00 000 for Savita who is 22 Rs 4 00 000 dowry for Vinita who’s 27 and Rs 8 00 000 for Namita who is 36 Banta after thinking for few seconds said Sir do you have any daughter who is 50?
Santa proposes to a woman She says yes if you bring me a pair of crocodile boots Santa sets off to Africa and disappears Finally a search is being made they find Santa hunting crocodiles and watch him killing a huge one He walks over the reptile checks its legs and angrily exclaims 71st and *again* barefeet
Santa was hauled up in a court for beating his neighbour The magistrate demanded: `Did you beat up your neighbour?` `Yes Your Honour he called me a Punjabi rascal ` `So what?` `Your Honour if he had called you a Bengali or Madrasi rascal or the type of rascal you really are would not you have beaten him up?`
Santa and Banta went into a diner and ordered two drinks Then they produced sandwiches from their briefcases and started to eat The waiter became quite concerned and marched over and told them You can`t eat your own sandwiches here They looked at each other shrugged their shoulders and then exchanged sandwiches
I m scared Banta said to one of his friends I got a letter from a guy who said he d break my legs if I didn t stop seeing his wife Well replied his friend I guess you ll have to stop seeing his wife Easy for you to say You like her that much? the friend asks It s not that declared Banta He didn t sign his name
A visitor to Santa Which is Mr Banta s flat? Santa: Please come with me The visitor is taken on stairs to the 3rd floor The visitor rings the bell and there is no response He rings it again and again and still no one answers Visitor: I think he is not in Santa: Yeah he has gone out He ll be back in the evening
A passer by notices Banta by the side of a lake throwing bricks into the water So he asks him: Why are you throwing bricks in to the water? Banta takes a brick and again throws it into the water and says thoughtfully See I`ve been trying to solve the mystery: why are the bricks rectangular and the waves circular?
Banta went to eat in ramshackle hotel To his surprise the waiter who came to serve him happened to be one of his classmate at school Banta called him and said Aren`t you ashamed of working in a seedy joint like this? Not at all replied the classmate I would be ashamed if I ate my meal here I only work in this place
Once a person saw Santa and Banta Santa was digging a hole and Banta was filling it Then they did the same act and kept repeating it The man came to them and asked what they were doing Santa Banta replied that they were doing their duty by digging and filling the holes and the man who plants trees was absent that day
Santa to Banta: You`ll never believe what happened last night Banta: `Well then tell me what happened ` The guy says `Last night the doorbell rang and when I opened the door there was my ex-mother-in-law on the front porch ` She said `Can I stay here for a few days?` I said `Of course you can ` and shut the door `
Banta is standing on platform no 1 waiting for the punjab mail to arrive There is an announcement Passengers to note Train no 234 dn Punjab mail from New Delhi will be arriving on `platform` no 1 shortly Hearing this Banta gets panicky He immediately picked up his baggage jumped on to the railway track and stood there
Santa travelling by train to Mumbai and was tearing bits out of a newspaper rolling them into small balls and then chucking them out of the window Perplexed co-passenger: Why are you doing this? Santa: To keep away the elephants Co-passenger: But there aren t any elephant around Santa: I know Very effective isn t it
Banta and Santa were working on a roof when Banta slipped and fell to the ground Santa leaned over and called out: Are you dead or alive Banta? Alive moaned Banta You are a liar I donot know whether to believe you or not said Santa Then I must be dead said Banta because you wouldnot dare call me a liar if I were alive
Santa who lived on the third floor of a boardinghouse broke his leg As the doctor put a cast on it he warned him not to climb any stairs Two months later the doctor took off the cast Can I climb stairs now? asked Santa Yes he replied Thank goodness Santa said I`m sick and tired of shinnying up and down that drainpipe
Santa took his dog to the vet for its annual check-up Your dog is overweight the vet said You should cut back on his food a little and make sure he gets some exercise Try playing fetch with him That s impossible Santa replied I can t play fetch with my dog Why not? asked the puzzled vet Because Santa said he can t throw
