My mother never understood the irony in calling me a “son-of-a-bitch.

My mother never understood the irony in calling me a “son-of-a-bitch.

I hate how chocolate immediately melt on my fingers. I mean.. am I that hot?

An evil person is like a dirty window, they never let the light shine through.

An evil person is like a dirty window, they never let the light shine through.

Knows the real fountain of youth is to have a dirty mind and a naughty smile..

I’m a freelance gynecologist. How long has it been since your last checkup?

You keep smiling like that and everyone is gonna wonder what you did last night..

You keep smiling like that and everyone is gonna wonder what you did last night..

Whats the worst thing you can do to a blind man? Leave the plunger in the toilet!

I’m a freelance gynecologist. How long has it been since your last checkup?

Whats the worst thing you can do to a blind man? Leave the plunger in the toilet!

My graduation speech: Fuck You, I fucked you, I d fuck you, Who the fuck are you?

People say I got a dirty mind, I just think I’ve got a good imagination lol..

I swear my pillow could be a hairstylist I always wake up with the wierdest hairdos.