Woman without curves is like a road without bends…. You may get to your destination quicker, but the ride is boring as hell.

Just because a guy is attracted to you physically or enjoys you sexually it doesn t mean that he wants to commit to you emotionally.

I think the woman who invented the phrase “All Men Are The Same” was a chinese woman who lost her husband in the crowd :)

Boobs are like the Sun...you can stare at them directly just for a few seconds. But if you put on sunglasses, stare as much as you want!

Women are like IPhones, you have to touch them all over before they respond. Men are like Blackberrys, rub one ball and everything moves!

Women are like IPhones, you have to touch them all over before they respond. Men are like Blackberrys, rub one ball and everything moves!

Me: "Why am I still single?" Brain: "You re weird as shit." Body: "And you re fat." Face: "Plus you re ugly." Food: "But I m here for you."

My idea of “friends with benefits” is another one of my friends doing my laundry. What were you people thinking.. I have morals.

Viagra is now available in powder form to put in your tea. It does not enhance your performance but it does stop your biscuit going soft. Lolz

I’m spread before I’m eaten. Your tongue gets me off. People sometimes like to lick my nuts. What am I? “Peanut Butter”.

Why are nipples so important like you could have as much boob out as you want but as soon as there’s nipple involved all hell breaks loose.

Touch it gently, put 2 fingers inside, if it’s wide use 3 fingers, make sure it’s wet and rub up and down. Yep that’s how you wash a cup.

Women only need 3.5 inches to achieve maximum pleasure, …………………….. it’s called a credit card.

Touch it gently, put 2 fingers inside, if it’s wide use 3 fingers, make sure it’s wet and rub up and down. Yep that’s how you wash a cup.

I’m listening to the voices in my head and I’ve come to realize that they are having more fun than me. I’m gonna go join them for a few drinks.