We live in a world where losing your iPhone is more dramatic than losing your virginity.

People who describe things as “better than sex” are having the wrong kind of sex.

I once made love for an hour and fifteen minutes, but it was the night the clocks are set ahead.

I once made love for an hour and fifteen minutes, but it was the night the clocks are set ahead.

Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don’t believe the kids should be given homework.

Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don’t believe the kids should be given homework.

You laugh at my job but you sit around collecting welfare from my taxes - nice... glad I can help ya out , asshole.

You can give a player the best sex he’s ever had, but he will still want new pussy because he’s a player.

What goes in hard and pink and comes out soft and squishy? What?! It’s bubble gum. Jeez, what were you thinking?!

Bitch swear they Baby Smarter than every other Baby.. "My Baby can count to 10" Bitch he s 18 years old, he supposed to!

Bitch swear they Baby Smarter than every other Baby.. "My Baby can count to 10" Bitch he s 18 years old, he supposed to!

Girls dont dress for boys, they dress for themselves. If girls dressed for boys, they’d just walk around naked all the time.

Girls dont dress for boys, they dress for themselves. If girls dressed for boys, they’d just walk around naked all the time.

Don’t you wish people could be like money, so you could hold them up to the sun and see which ones are fake and who are real.

Don’t you wish people could be like money, so you could hold them up to the sun and see which ones are fake and who are real.