A blonde woman went to see a Doctor complaining of an upset stomach The Doctor asked What did you have for dinner last night? Oysters she replied Were the oysters fresh? asked the doctor How should I know? said the lady Well asked the doctor couldn t you tell when you took off the shells? Oh my god gasped the lady Are you supposed to take off the shells?

It was very crowded and noisy in this Restaurant and this blonde girl asks the waiter where the restroom was And he says I can t hear you So she gets close to his ear and asks again Can you please tell me where the ladies room is? And he replies On the other side So she turns around and gets close to his other ear and asks Can you please tell me where the ladies room is please

A blonde is watching the news with her husband when the newscaster says Two Brazilian men die in a skydiving accident The blonde starts crying to her husband sobbing That s horrible So many men dying that way Confused he says Yes dear it is sad but they were skydiving and there is always that risk involved After a few minutes the blonde still sobbing says How many is a Brazilian?

A California highway patrol man pulled alongside a speeding car on the crowded freeway Glancing at the car the officer was astounded to see that the young blonde woman behind the wheel was knitting Conceding that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren the trooper cranked down his window turned on his bullhorn and yelled PULL OVER NO the blonde woman yelled back IT`S A SCARF

A blonde was standing in front of a coke machine she put in 50 cents and a coke came out She set it on top of the coke machine Put in 50 more cents pushed the button and another coke came out She kept doing this until a guy standing behind her said Excuse me can I get my coke and then you can go back to what ever you are doing? The blonde turns around and says Like duh not when I am winning

A blonde a brunette a movie star the Pope and a pilot were on a plane The plane was going down fast and there were only four parachutes for all five of them The pilot took one and jumped then the movie star took one and jumped and then the blonde took one and jumped The pope told the brunette to take the last one The brunette said There are still 2 parachutes left The blonde took my backpack

A blonde and her husband are lying in bed listening to the next door neighbor s dog It has been in the backyard barking for hours and hours The blonde jumps up out of bed and says I ve had enough of this She goes downstairs The blonde finally comes back up to bed And her husband says The dog is still barking What have you been doing? The blonde says I put the dog in our backyard let s see how THEY like it

A blonde and her husband are lying in bed listening to the next door neighbor s dog It has been in the backyard barking for hours and hours The blonde jumps up out of bed and says I ve had enough of this She goes downstairs The blonde finally comes back up to bed and her husband says The dog is still barking what have you been doing? The blonde says I put the dog in our backyard let s see how THEY like it

There were 11 people hanging onto a rope that came down from a plane Ten were blonde and one was a brunette They all decided that one person should get off because if they didn`t then the rope would break and everyone would die No one could decide who should go so finally the brunette said I`ll get off After a really touching speech from the brunette saying she would get off all of the blondes started clapping

On the first day of training for parachute jumping a blonde listened intently to the instructor He told them to start preparing for landing when they are at 300 feet The blonde asked How am I supposed to know when I m at 300 feet? That s a good question When you get to 300 feet you can recognize the faces of people on the ground After pondering his answer she asked What happens if there s no one there I know?

A blonde stormed up to the front desk of the library and said I have a complaint Yes Ma am? said the librarian looking up at her I borrowed a book last week and it was horrible Puzzled by her complaint the librarian asked What was wrong with it? It had way too many characters and there was no plot whatsoever said the blonde The librarian nodded and said Ahhh So you must be the person who took our Phone Book

On the first day of training for parachute jumping a blonde listened intently to the instructor He told them to start preparing for landing when they are at 300 feet The blonde asked How am I supposed to know when I m at 300 feet? That s a good question When you get to 300 feet you can recognize the faces of people on the ground After pondering his answer she asked What happens if there s no one there I know?

A blonde in Alaska decides to go ice fishing So she packs up his stuff and goes out onto the ice She starts sawing a hole in the ice and a loud booming voice says YOU WILL FIND NO FISH UNDER THAT ICE The blonde looks up ignores it and continues on The voice repeats YOU WILL FIND NO FISH UNDER THE ICE The blonde looks up again and says Is this God trying to warn me?The voice says NO I M THE MANAGER OF THIS ICE RINK

A blonde her husband are lying in bed listening to the next door neighbou r s dog It has been in the backyard barking for hours hours The blonde jumps up out of bed and says I ve had enough of this She goes downstairs The blonde finally comes back up to bed and her husband says The dog is still barking what have you been doing? The blonde says I put the dog in our backyard let s see how THEY like all the barking

Help-desk guy speaking to a lady user Help-desk: Mam please double click on My Computer Lady: I can t see your computer Help-desk: No Click on My Computer on your computer Lady: How the hell can I click on your computer from my computer ? Help-desk: There is an icon labelled My Computer on your computer double click on it Lady: What the hell is your computer doing on my computer ? The help-desk boy put down the phone