A blonde lady was driving along the highway when a blonde police officer pulled her over for speeding Officer May I see your licence? Lady What does it look like? Officer Its a rectangular thing with a photo of you on it The lady looks through her bag and pulls out her compact mirror and hands it to the officer The officer opens it up and says If you had told me you were a police officer I wouldn t have pulled you ove
At a dinner party several of the guests were arguing whether men or women were more trustworthy No woman said one man scornfully can keep a secret I don’t know about that answered a blonde woman guest I have kept my age a secret since I was twenty-one You ll let it out some day the man insisted I hardly think so responded the blonde lady When a woman has kept a secret for twenty-seven years she can keep it foreve
Three blondes are in an elevator when the elevator suddenly stops and the lights go out They try using their cell phones to get help but have no luck Even the phones are out After a few hours of being stuck with no help in sight one blonde says to the others I think the best way to call for help is by yelling together The others agree with the first so they all inhale deeply and begin to yell loudly Together together togethe
A young blonde college co-ed came running in tears to her father Dad you gave me some terrible financial advice I did? What did I tell you? said the dad You told me to put my money in that big bank and now that big bank is in trouble What are you talking about? That s one of the largest banks in the state he said there must be some mistake I don t think so she sniffed They just returned one of my checks with a note saying Insufficient Funds
A new blonde employee calls the Help Desk to complain that there s something wrong with her password No it s not the usual caps-lock problem The problem is that whenever I type the password it just shows stars she says Those asterisks are to protect you the Help Desk technician explains so if someone were standing behind you they wouldn t be able to read your password Yeah she says but they show up even when there is no one standing behind me
The company psychiatrist was interviewing the young blonde As she sat in the chair the psychiatrist asked a series of questions to determine if she was emotionally suitable for the company Things were not going well for the young blonde The psychiatrist decided to try a new approach to give the blonde one last chance He asked If you could have a conversation with someone living or dead who would it be? The blonde quickly responded The living one
One morning a blonde s husband was watching the traffic report on TV They were talking about some maniac who was driving along the highway in the wrong direction and disrupting traffic He knew his wife would be on that highway on her way to work and he didn t want her to get hurt so he called her to let her know Honey watch out this morning there s a lunatic driving the wrong way up the highway he said Sounding terrified she replied It s not just one
Eleven people were clinging precariously to a wildly swinging rope suspended from a crumbling outcrop on Mount Everest Ten were blonde one was a brunette As a group they decided that one of the party should let go If that didn`t happen the rope would break and everyone would perish For an agonizing few moments no one volunteered Finally the brunette gave a truly touching speech saying she would sacrifice herself to save the lives of the others The blondes applauded
There is a blonde driving through the country She has just died her hair brown because she is sick of being made fun of She is really hungry She stops at a farmer’s house and says Hi If I can guess how many sheep you have can I have one? Farmer says ok She quickly counts them and says 91 The farmer looks around puzzledly and says Ok Take one When the Blonde is walking back to her car the farmer asks If I can guess your natural hair color can I have my dog back?
A blonde goes to a barber shop wearing headphones She tells the hairdresser Dress my hair please but do not remove the headphones The hairdresser does his job but needs to get under the headphones to finish his work He removes the headphones thinking that the blonde will never even notice The blonde falls to the floor chokes turns blue and dies The hairdresser picks up the headphones to see what she was listening to and hears: Breath In Breath Out Breath In Breath Out
A woman went into a bank to get a check cashed but she didn t have an account with them When the teller her asked for some identification the woman showed her several charge cards her social security card and a library card The teller told her they needed a driver s license but the woman said she didn t have one Don t you have anything with your picture on it? the teller asked Oh sure she said as she flipped to a family photo in her wallet That s me in the back row
The Boss who was on the 25th floor of the building called up one of his blonde clerk on the ground floor for an important file Since it was rather urgent the Boss told the clerk it was an emergency and that she should hurry with the file After more than 30 minutes the blonde appears all tired and panting for breath The Boss asks her why she was panting and what caused the huge delay She replies Sir when I went to the lift it said During an emergency please use the staircase
There was this guy that lived acrossed from a blonde He was outside mowing and here comes the blonde She goes to her mailbox opens it looks inside it and slams it In about ten minutes here she comes again opens her mailbox looks in it and slams it shut looking upset In about 15 more minutes here she comes again opens her mailbox looks in it and slams it shut The guy walks over and asked her what her problem was She said There is a sign on my computer that says I have mail
One day there was this blonde that pulled up to a gas station She filled her car with gas then went to the gas station clerk Then she asked him for a hanger The clerk asked her why and she replied that she locked her keys in the car So the clerk gave the blonde the hanger Thirty minutes later the clerks sees the same blonde outside So the clerk decides to help them out The blonde says No thanks All of a sudden there was another blonde in the car saying A little bit to the left
After a wild freeway chase the motorcycle cop waved the speeding sports car over to the curb When he walked up to the drivers window he was surprised to find a very attractive blonde behind the wheel Ma`am he said I`m afraid we`re going to have to give you a Breathalyzer test to see whether or not you`ve been drinking The test was taken and as the officer eyed the results he said Lady you`ve had a couple of stiff ones That`s amazing the girl cried You mean it shows that too
