An interoffice volleyball game was held every year between the marketing and support staff of Santabanta com In 2002 the support staff whipped the marketing department soundly But the marketing department showed how they earn their keep by posting this memo on the bulletin board after the game: The Marketing Department is pleased to announce that for the 2002 volleyball Season we came in 2nd place having lost but one game all year The Support Department however had a rather dismal season as they won only one game

At a country-club party a young man was introduced to an attractive girl Immediately he began paying her court and flattering her outrageously The girl liked the young man but she was taken a bit aback by his fast and ardent pitch She was amazed when after 30 minutes he seriously proposed marriage Look she said We only met a half hour ago How can you be so sure? We know nothing about each other You`re wrong the young man declared For the past 5 years I`ve been working in the bank where your father has his account

Three buddies are sitting around talking one day when they begin to discuss what they would like their friends and families to say about them as they`re laying in their caskets at their funerals The first man says I would like to hear them say that I was a great doctor of my time and a great family man The second man says I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher which made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow The last guy replies I would like to hear them say LOOK HE`S MOVING

Someone was at a party when he started boasting to the local journalists that his command of English language was better than that of the average journalist s An editorial writer didn t take too kindly to that and said Well I ll bet you 100 that I can stump you I accept your wager he said I ll bet you can t use the word because three times consecutively in a sentence That is my challenge After thinking for a moment he replied You cannot end a sentence with the word because because because is a conjunction You lose

Ben came from a large family He had three sisters and three brothers One day he was looking through the family photo album with his mother when he noticed in page after page that all the children were dressed in the same colors He asked his mother why they were all dressed alike She explained At first when we had just four children I dressed you alike so we wouldn t lose any of you Then she added as other three came along I started dressing you alike so we wouldn t accidentally take one home that didn t belong to us

It was early morning at the military base and the first sergeant was calling out names for the daily work parties listed on a piece of paper: Jhonson Here Joe Here John Here Michael Here Seeback No answer Seeback No answer was heard again SEEBACK The troops remained totally silent At that point someone whispered into the first sergeant s ear He looked again at what the last name really said turned a bright crimson red and quickly turned over the list to continue calling the names printed on the other side

If the loser smiles after losing the game the winner loses the thrill of his victory That s the power of Smile Behind every Successful Man there is a Woman Because Women don t run behind Unsuccessful Men Sympathy You can get from Anybody But Jealousy You have to Earn it Drink 5 cups of milk and try to push the wall And then drink 5 cups of alcohol and watch It ll move on its own Only 3 living beings are immune to cold on earth: 1 Polar bears 2 Penguins 3 Females wearing sleeveless backless at marriages in India

1 Atleast one of the identical twins born is evil 2 While defusing a bomb don t worry which wire to cut you will always choose the right one 3 A hero will show no pain while getting beaten up but will show pain when a woman is trying to clean his wound 4 A police can solve a case only when he s suspended from duty 5 (best one) If you decide to start dancing on the street every one you meet will know the step 6 Hero comes on time when it comes to save heroine while he will be always late when it comes to his Siste

A policeman pulled over a car walked up to the driver s window and asked the man if he knew why he was pulled over No the man replied You failed to stop at the stop sign the cop explained But I did slow down the guy argued The cop shook his head You are required to stop That s why they re called stop signs The man started to get belligerent Stop slow down - what s the difference? The cop pulled out his baton I can show you I m going to start hitting you with my baton You tell me if you want me to stop or slow down

An inter-office softball game was held every year between the Marketing and Support Staff of one company The Support Staff whipped the Marketing Department soundly To show just how the Marketing Department earns their keep they posted this memo on the bulletin board after the game: The Marketing Department is pleased to announce that for the 1999 Softball Season we finished in 2nd place having lost but one game all year The Support Department however had a rather dismal season as they won only one game this entire season

Grandpa was celebrating his 100th birthday and everybody complimented him on how athletic and well-preserved he appeared Gentlemen I will tell you the secret of my success he cackled I have been in the open air day after day for some 75 years now The celebrants were impressed and asked how he managed to keep up his rigorous fitness regime Well you see my wife and I were married 75 years ago On our wedding night we made a solemn pledge Whenever we had a fight the one who was proved wrong would go outside and take a walk

On his first day on the job the trainee dialled the kitchen and shouted into the phone: Get me a F***ING cup of coffee quickly The voice from the other side responded: You fool you ve dialled the wrong extension Do you know who you re talking to? No replied the trainee It s the Managing Director of the company idiot The trainee shouted back: And do you know who YOU are F***ING talking to you F***ING idiot? No replied the Managing Director indignantly Thank F**K for that replied the trainee and slammed down the phone

A student comes to the office of a young professor Before entering the lovely young lady glances in both directions down the hall then closes his door behind her and kneels down before him pleadingly I would do anything to pass this exam She leans closer to him flips back her hair gazes meaningfully into his eyes I mean she whispers I would do Anything He returns her gaze Anything? Yes anything she says His voice softens Anything? Anything she repeats again His voice turns to a whisper Would you be willing to study?

An architect an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress because of the passion and mystery he found there The engineer said I like both Both? Engineer: Yeah If you have a wife and a mistress they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman and you can go to the lab and get some work done

On the eve of Diwali a blackjack dealer and a player with a thirteen count in his hand were arguing about whether or not it was appropriate to tip the dealer The player said When I get bad cards it s not the dealer s fault Accordingly when I get good cards the dealer obviously had nothing to do with it so why should I tip him? The dealer said When you eat out do you tip the waiter? Yes Well then he serves you food I m serving you cards so you should tip me Okay but the waiter gives me what I ask for I ll take an eight